The thing about mental health days

For me, mental health days are rarely "days off," per se. Why? Because, the reason why I take mental health days is not to relax. It's to deal with the crap build-up at home, which is part and parcel with my mental instability.

So far today: I've filed away about 4 months worth of household and personal bills, insurance information, and all sorts of other mailing that one is really supposed to keep in some sort of organized system; cleaned my bathroom; cleaned my office; done laundry; vacuumed; and rearranged my underwear drawer (I know, you really didn't need to know that. But for completeness sakes, we'll go there, okay?). Again, hardly a "day off." More like a day of work at home.

I've been going since about 8:30 or 9:00 this morning. I haven't even eaten lunch yet. Let's see what else I can accomplish today.


Update: 3:15pm - baking brownies

Certainly not a surprise

Although brilliant may be a bit of an exaggeration...

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive. You understand people better than they would like to be understood. Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details. You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on! Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

What Should Your Superpower Be?

I still have a job

Whew. Now I don't have to start putting together my resume. By the time this thing is up for renewal again in 5 years, I will likely be a permanent hire and not have to worry like this again.

Living in the unknown

I guess one of the bad things about working where I do is the bureaucratic crap that comes along with it. It's been in the background for months now. But back then, I thought that the deadline was ages away, and there would be no way this would be a possibility.

This possibility has nothing to do with my performance over the past 2 1/2 years. Nothing to do with the quality of the work I do. Nothing to do with the time I've spent. And yet. Here I am. With the deadline rapidly approaching, knowing that if it comes down to it, I would be one of the people on the chopping block.

Define me

LadyNil -- [noun]: A lewd street performer 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Hrm... Not so sure about this one. Lewd? Thanks, CawfeeGuy.

Bumper sticker of the day

"The rapture is not an exit strategy."

Shit like that just makes me giggle.

Slowly creeping my way forward

God, I'm tired. And today it's miserable outside. All rainy and dark and humid. Blegh. I so did not want to get out of bed today when I saw that out the window this morning.

It's a strange thing, this tiredness. Obviously, it relates to work. More specifically, my not wanting to be here recently. It's not that I don't like my job. I love my job. I've just been so busy recently that I'm overwhelmed... you know, the so-incredibly-busy-and-have-so-much-to-do-that-you-don't-even-know-where-to-begin-so-you-feel-like-you-can't-do-anything, kind of deal. And on top of that, there's the neck pain that just keeps coming back - sitting in front of a computer all day has really been doing a job on my neck.

So I'm tired. I'm achy. And on top of that, I'm being all whiny about it.

Blegh.

Cleaning surfaces

I had one of those "cleaning surfaces" moment the other day. And it's pretty much been continuous since then... I'm in a "cleaning surfaces" kind of mood. What does this mean? This is a label MS gave to a certain type of behaviour. It's the point where you can't take the clutter anymore and start cleaning. For me, I usually just snap. Justlikethat. And start moving shit around and throwing shit out. JS was looking at me the other evening, at 9pm when I just started cleaning the apartment, like I was a total nutcase.

And it continued through the weekend. Yesterday, the surface of choice happened to be the car. I didn't take it to the carwash. I HAD to do it myself. It's a state of mind, I think. A physical manifestation of trying to clear out my head. Or maybe the apartment is just a mess. Who the hell knows.

I didn't get as much cleaned in the apartment as I would have liked... I feel like I'm drowning in clutter. At least the furniture is back where it's supposed to be - sorta.

Star light, star bright... times 2

If you haven't seen this movie yet, you should. It's based on the book by Neil Gaiman, one of the greatest comic book writers of all time. According to JS, the movie is a bit more loosely based on the book than I had originally thought. When the book originally came out as a 4 part graphic novel, I had only read part 1; and while not exactly the same, it's not wildly dissimilar. Apparently, more liberties were taken after the point I had stopped.

Regardless, the movie is great. Michelle Pfeiffer is totally hot as the witch queen. It's funny. It's charming. It's surprising. And I was so excited to see it again last night after seeing it with MS last weekend. This is definitely going to be a DVD purchase when it comes out, if only to hear Robert DeNiro's commentary (and hopefully there is one) about his role as the "fearsome" Captain Shakespeare.

Oh, boy. What a surprise.

Gee. Flight delays and baggage mishandlings increased in the month of July. And it's the worst since 1995. Hmmm. Why am I not surprised?

Baby on Board

Okay. Before you all start freaking out, I will say right now - IT'S NOT ME. Whew. There. Now on to business.

I haven't made this announcement beforehand, simply because I didn't know how to approach it. (But if you've been paying attention to the comments section of the blog, you would have picked this up.) However, I got a picture from the expectant mother, so this makes things so much more fun. Introducing my future niece or nephew (still too early to tell):


That's right people. Jay and Angy are expecting!!! Not only are they expecting, but the baby has the coolest due date ever - February 29th. Yep, New Baby Kiang may be a leap baby.

I'm soooo terribly excited! I love babies. But so much more than that, I'm totally excited for Jay and Angy and to welcome a new member of the family into our lives. So that brings the total to 3 nephews, 2 nieces, a Hauser and... sex unknown New Baby Kiang.

YAY!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Totally. Swamped.

After a week in Beantown, I'm back to the grind and totally swamped. I have a whole bunch of things due out this week and only 4 days to do them because I'm taking the day off on Friday to visit MS (YAY!).

Boston was great. The conference was good and very educational. It was really really cold while we were up there. I did not become a Red Sox fan (don't you ever worry about that Jay). Saw my dear nephew and his lovely wife. Ate and ate - A LOT. Definitely will go back to Boston soon.

But for now, I have to concentrate on work so I can totally concentrate on fun this weekend!

Beantown

Going to be in Boston until the 23rd. So, I'll be MIA. Don't miss me too much.

One of those days...

Let's re-live a blast from the past. The details have been changed since then in terms of the morning routine. The part that didn't change from this post from the past: my mug of tea committing suicide from the roof of my car. And me standing there, blank-faced and staring as my tea was running through the crevices of the asphalt.

Thank god it's not Monday, or else I would have just gone back home and ridden the rest of the week off.

Shiny new toys

It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to buy for myself. But once I decided on a laptop, I became single minded. I big on getting bang for the buck. My laptop has been dying a slow and painful death for a while now. I bought it so that I could write my thesis a million years ago. It had the features that I needed and not much more. It didn't even have an internal wireless card.

So, I'd been searching for a new laptop for while and was becoming disconcerted, since everytime I thought I found the one I wanted, by the time I finished researching and reading reviews, when I got back, the price went up. UP! Since when do computer priced go UP these days?? Seriously.

Anyway, I finally found the laptop for me. I'm very happy with it. It's shiny. It's fast. And most importantly, it doesn't overheat and crash in the middle of things (see slow and painful death). So here she is:

I've tentatively named her Nymphadora (obviously still on my Harry Potter kick). I think it suits her for now.

The Dwarf of the Day is...

Sleepy.

And to answer your question MS - yes. Absolutely, we can both be the same dwarf.

It hot. Really effing hot. And humid. Did I mention humid?

As in 102 degrees, record high kind of hot. Like being in someone's mouth. Hot, humid and gross.

Man. The office just sucks compared to the pool.

... or the rainforest.


Where gods sleep...


And the water comes in falls...



There's a heatwave in DC right now. I think I prefered the heat in PR than in DC. It was somehow more... satisfying.

American Airlines SUCKS!

And I am never flying on them again. Now, nothing can ruin the fact that I had a fabulous vacay with my fabulous girlfriends (more on this later, with pictures). But, I did come home on a very big downer. My flight was supposed to be at 5:35pm Tuesday. When I got to the airport, I was told that the flight was delayed until 7:20pm. That sucks, but I can deal. By the time I got to the gate, the flight wasn't leaving until 7:45pm. Also, a little bit longer, and I'm getting more agitated, but I can deal. Then comes the announcement, first in Spanish. The only things I recognize are 6:30 and mañana. Then it comes in English. The flight has been canceled for the evening and will not leave until 6:30am the following morning. The pilot has gone over his flying hours and the only plan they had was to beg the pilot to do the last flight. Yeah, THAT was going to work. So we all have to go downstairs, get our luggage and they would put us all up in hotels for the night.

I go to get my hotel voucher. Ask the guy what hotels they are putting us up in. He says the Best Western, why? I give him the "Oh, God, you've GOT to be kidding" face and say, "Well, there are certain hotels I would just rather not stay in, being a woman traveling alone and all." He books me at the Marriot. I wake up at the ass crack of dawn to get to the airport. Take a million years to get through security. Make it to the gate in time to hear the last boarding call. But get on the plane, get myself an emergency row seat with more leg room and quickly fall asleep. It's no time before we're landing in DC. I'm nearly home. It's 10:30am.

I go to baggage claim to get my one checked bag. And wait. And wait. And wait some more. There's a couple minutes pause. Then bags from another flight start coming out. WHAT THE EF?!? Where is my bag??? I go to the counter and find out that they have no idea where my bag is. It was never scanned. They assume it's still in the San Juan Airport, but they don't know for sure. This is the point I completely lost it. Standing at the counter crying my eyes out, totally frustrated with the whole ordeal.

I finally got home at about 1pm yesterday. Slept for almost the rest of the day. The good thing is they called this morning and have my bag at Dulles. They'll be delivering it later today. I'm glad for that. But this is the second time in three years that American Airlines has left me stranded overnight on the way back from Puerto Rico.

I'm never flying American Airlines again. They suck.

Update 12:55pm: My bag has been delivered. All is right. American Airlines still sucks.

Because, really, how much can you get done with one bloodshot eye

I was up kind of late last night. Reading. Harry Potter. Until 1:30am. And I'm paying for it now. And really, I still want to be at home reading rather than at work. Is that wrong?

Countdown to PR

I've been working my ass off to get all of my crap done. And I'm really exhausted. But I know, it will be completely worth it in 8 days, when MS, TC and I will be poolside at the El San Juan Hotel, drinking rum based drinks and reading Harry Potter.

Just. Eight. More. Days.

Current soundtrack of my life

Okay MS and CawfeeGuy, here's mine:

opening credits: How I Feel (My December) - Kelly Clarkson
waking up: Just a ride (from the Grey's Anatomy CD Michele gave me) - Jem
first day at school: Anxiety (Elephunk) - Black Eyed Peas with Papa Roach
falling in love: Temperature - Sean Paul
breaking up: Ever the Same (Something to Be) - Rob Thomas
prom: Simple Kind of Life (Return of Saturn) - No Doubt
life’s okay: Like That (Monkey Business) - Black Eyed Peas
mental breakdown: Language or the Kiss (Swamp Ophelia) - Indigo Girls
flashback: Suspension without Suspense (Return of Saturn) - No Doubt
driving: Breakaway (Breakaway) - Kelly Clarkson
getting back together: Wreck of the Day (Wreck of the Day) - Anna Nalick
wedding: Hear Me (Breakaway) - Kelly Clarkson
birth of a child: Somewhere I Belong (Meteora) - Linkin Park
final battle: Now Comes the Night (Something to Be) - Rob Thomas
death scene: Artificial Sweetener (Return of Saturn) - No Doubt

Considering how much U2 I have on my player, I'm surprised none came up. My mp3 player really liked No Doubt and Kelly Clarkson today... I wonder what that means...

GAH!

I am so overwhelmed with work right now that I don't know where to begin and all I feel like doing is crawling back into bed and pray that it all goes away but then I wake up at 4:30 in the morning thinking about all the work I have to do that I get overwhelmed all over again.

*breathe*

I can't wait to go on vacation.

Freewheeling Leader - what the hell does that mean?

Free-Wheeling Leader

Some of this is true. But the part that says, "You don't mind being in the spotlight, preferring social gatherings to quiet nights at home," I'm not so sure about...

Perils of working at home

Thor would sleep on the document I'm trying to work on. I guess that's what's called an occupational hazard. I just hope he's not drooling on it.

Whenever I'm at my Dad's place, I try to run as many errands for him as possible. I have the car. I have the time. And it's certainly not a big deal at all. One of the things that he usually sends me for is rice. Big ol' 20lb bags of rice. And there are usually 2 bags. Most of the time, his wife comes with me. But if there's nothing else to buy, there's really no point. How hard could it be to pick up a couple of bags of rice?

So, right before I leave to meet MS, her mom, TC and PC for dim sum, my Dad's wife hands me money and asks me to buy these bags of rice:
Now, I'm Chinese. That's pretty obvious. But I'm only a little more Chinese than General Tso's Chicken - created by Chinese people, looks Chinese, has a Chinese flavor, but definitely Americanized for public consumption. I speak what I call "Restaurant Chinese," which is enough to order food, pay the bill and generally fool the waitstaff up until the point they ask me a real question. And I certainly don't read Chinese (except for numbers and recognizing my last name).

PC and I are in the store trying to match characters and obviously not making any headway, when MS takes the list from my hand and says we're going to ask someone. Right. Yeah, well, when we asked for help, I realized just how sorry a person I was since I wasn't even close to choosing the correct bags. At least now I will have forever embedded in my memory the type of rice my Dad and his wife prefer. I'm only slightly afraid that next time she's going to give me an entire shopping list in Chinese and say, "Go."

(BTW, did you notice the 11 o'clock dollars? Yeah, me too.)

So, something's going on with Blogger right now where I can't put titles on the entries, so bear with me if it all seems a little odd right now.

(don't ask about the plate, because trust me, I have no idea either)

This past weekend in NY was all about friends and family. I went up to attend Dennis and Karen's baby shower. They are expecting little Darrien in about a month now and Karen definitely has the pregnant lady shuffle going on (terribly cute on her, by the way).

This is their first baby, and I always get all excited about buying baby stuff. I just like baby stuff - it's all cute and soft and fun, and really I want to play with everything. I bought a whole bunch of stuff off their registry at Target. Wrapped it up all nice and pretty.

I'm on my way up to NY, about an hour out of DC, having just gotten on the Harbor Tunnel Thruway (I895, for those who care). I was thinking that I should move the chocolates I have from the trunk into the car so they don't melt. Then I thought to myself, "What did I do with those chocolates? I don't remember putting them in the car." Then I remembered that I put them in the bag with one of the baby shower gifts... which was sitting on the dining room table. FUCK.

I frantically call up Turg and explain that the bags are on the table. He says to turn around. Well, turning around was not an option as far as I was concerned for two reasons: (1) I895 has NO EXITS until you pass through the tunnel, which, at that point, was another 15 minutes away, and (2) I was already an hour out, plus the extra 15 minutes before I could even consider turing around, which would add another 2 1/2 hours onto my trip. He was kind enough to suggest meeting me in Baltimore with the gift. And as I'm going through the tunnel, I'm thinking of all the possible places he could meet me. I settle on Towson, since there is a Petsmart there and I could get out of the car with Thor for a little while. Then I realized there was a Target in the same shopping center, and I could possibly rebuy the gifts. Which brought me to the fact that there's a Target near home in Brooklyn, and I could do the same there when I arrived in NY. Which is exactly what I did. *whew*

Of course, being the person that I am, I bought exactly the same stuff (with the exception of a couple of things they didn't have, and which will be sent to the parents to be), and wrapped it exactly the same, as if anyone besides me would know that the gift bag was different. But, then again, I am the one who was going to NY for a baby shower and forgot the gift on the dining table, so what does that say about me?

Pressure... pushing down on me, pushing down on me...

I have an unusual skill that I wish I didn't have. It's not a skill actually, more than just a physical perception. I am, or rather, my sinuses act as a barometer. A guage of air pressure. Specifically, that rise in air pressure that usually preceeds a thunderstorm.

What happens? Generally this dull pain begins right between my eyes which then increases as time passes until such point that it either rains or the weather front passes, thereby releaving the air pressure.

It's summer in the Mid-Atlantic, which means thunderstorms all the time. It also means that I am absolutely miserable nearly every afternoon. And I've searched for other reasons over the years, like lack of caffiene and such, but none of these explanations correlate to the headaches other than the weather.

At this very moment... my head feels like it's going to explode. Make. It. Stop.

Self-promotion... well not self, per se but...

I'VE BEEN PROMOTED!!!!!

Whew. I was seriously nervous about it for a while now, thinking that it wasn't going to happen. Now I need to celebrate. So, I'm looking for suggestions on what fabulous thing I can treat myself with. To quote MS, "you have to let yourself WANT something first. let's start there. (sheesh)" Yeah, I'm usually not too good at that.

Graphic tastes

I want to thank Turg's buddy Weazel for the creation of a number of new banners for this blog. They are really fun and very me. I'll probably rotate them depending on my mood, since I like them all.

Pain in my butt

For years now, I have been dealing with a pain in my butt. I am not speaking of a person, but a literal pain in my butt. I have had butt and back pain for years which began in grad school during my tae kwon do training. It began as something minor, and progressed into something chronic. Pain in my lower back, butt and tingling in my foot, far worse in the right leg than the left, but there in both. I now have a name for this condition: piriformis syndrome.


It sucks. And it had been getting better for a while over the years - I stopped doing tae kwon do, stretched more, strengthened my back and core, did everything I was supposed to. Then I started working at a desk job, which apparently aggravates this condition. Great. The long drives to NYC don't help either, apparently.

I've recently started going to physical therapy for this... and I thought I was making progress. Things were feeling looser and freer. That was until Friday. I have no idea what I did between Wednesday morning (my previous PT session) and Friday morning. All I know is that when I sat down in the car, I felt pins and needles along my leg and bottom of my right foot. GAH! My right lower back has also been slowly tightening over the weekend. It's never a good sign when the first thing I say to my physical therapist is, "I have no idea what I did, but..." Yeah.

According to my physical therapist, I have "classic" piriformis syndrome. Pretty much textbook case. Which, I suppose, is good. No one wants to have an undiagnosable condition that takes years to figure out. No one wants to have a condition named after them. But after years of having it, I just wish it would go away.

In case anyone was worried if I took the cheese comment seriously at all...

Here I am in all of my fabulousness at the reception Saturday night...

And here's one of me and Turg, just cuz we're cute...

I like cheese, alright? Get off my back... (or things one should never say to a woman at a wedding reception)

This weekend was filled with much joy and laughter because of Crazy and SweetPea's wedding. At the rehearsal dinner Friday night, Turg gave Crazy this book as a gag:

The book was passed around and around at the rehearsal dinner, the reception and the day-after party. Big hit. Women all knew it was a fantasy (it's porn afterall) and (most of) the men found humor in it, particularly since they knew just how far fetched a lot of the stuff in it was... like, "Have another piece of cake. I don't like you looking so thin." See, fantasy.

Which brings me to the things that one should never say to a woman at a wedding reception (or any gathering with food, for that matter). Let me just say, like MS, I don't eat like a girl. I eat well, and healthily, but definitely not like a girl. I'll eat a steak over chicken anyday. I can outeat almost anyone at sushi or a crabhouse. And I love cheese - lots of cheese.

All of the following statements were made by one guy, my friend Lisa's husband, Gary, with whom I play softball (Lisa happens to play and is the manager of this team).

• (after spreading some brie on bread) "Is that sanctioned by team management? Should you be eating all those CARBS and FAT?"
• (after getting my plate from the dinner buffet) "Did you leave any food out there?"
• (general comment at the end of the evening) "I'm just looking out of the team. I don't want all this food to slow you down."

He kept looking to others for help. Crazy's brother just repeated, "Put the shovel DOWN!" But Gary wouldn't, and continued digging himself deeper all evening. In reality, I know he was just kidding. But, seriously now, who says this shit, even in jest?

Weddings on trampolines

Crazy and SweetPea's wedding was a wonderous, all-weekend affair. Both of them have great, fun-loving families, who love to drink and laugh. It made for great times. Particularly the Bride and Groom on the trampoline. What more is there to say really?

Crazy and SweetPea are getting married Saturday

Yay!

The piles are going to attack soon

So, since I am taking a couple of days off to help in the final preparations for Crazy and SweetPea's wedding, I essentially have been jamming to get as much done as possible. I don't like leaving loose ends when I'm away, even if it's only for a couple of days. I'd been doing rather well, and was feeling quite proud of myself for it. Of course, nothing is ever that easy, nor does life ever let you get off with a free pass.

For those who have never been in my office at work, I have a system. It's the "Post-It" system of easily knowing when things are due. Neat piles on shelves with little Post-it notes telling me when and to whom things are due. Team-lead documents on one shelf, consult documents on another, and on my desk, only the document on which I am currently working and any related references.

My piles were shrinking before I went to the Motherland this past weekend. That is, until right before I left. Documents started coming in. Coming in great teetering piles. More due in the next 2 weeks than I had at the beginning of last week. There are piles encroaching on my desk, and it makes me anxious. My preference is to have anything due in the next week finished before I take the day off, because I am a hand-raiser in that way... far too type A than I am usually willing to admit. I like having things done early. But for this, I can't. There is just no way. Just. No. Way. And I hate that feeling.

I think I may implode.

I know I'm still like this sometimes, but I'm glad all of you people have brought me back to normal... sorta.

Existing at the edge of consciousness

I barely slept last night... Rather, I did sleep, but it was sleep that was at the very edge of consciousness. You know, that type of sleep when you are keenly aware of all the sounds that are occurring, but it's not enough to wake you up. The type of sleep where you're not dreaming but it's not deep sleep. JS didn't sleep last night either... and I'm not terribly sure who kept whom awake.

It is taking every ounce of concentration I have right now to not fall asleep at my desk.

Not really sure what this means... but it sounds good

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I want to ride my bicycle...

I am on a quest to get back into shape. I let this winter hit me a little too hard and allowed myself far too much laziness. By the way I feel, I would never know that 9 months ago, I was fully trained for a 1/2 marathon. What is it they say? "It's hard to get into shape and easy to get out of shape." Apparently too easy.

So, I have resolved to bike to work on Fridays this summer (barring rain or the need to wear a suit), since Fridays are casual dress days. Today was day one. Let me first say, I don't live that far away from work. But the road to work is a little... scary. There is no bike lane. There are many busses. And in the morning there are A LOT of large construction and cement trucks on the road because of the quarry nearby. So, like the wussy-pants that I am, I ride my bike on the sidewalk until such point that I can get off the main road - yes, like a 3rd grader.

As I approach the first major intersection (I'm on the sidewalk, now), I notice a lot of movement of very small objects. As I get closer, I see that there are a lot of flies hovering near the corner. Closer... closer... GAH!!! THERE'S A DEAD DEER ON THE SIDEWALK!!! (likely from one of those large construction trucks hitting it) Not exactly what I was hoping to see that early in the morning.

The rest of the ride was uneventful. I now have a bike sitting in the middle of my office with passers by poking their heads in saying, "Hey. There's a bike. Did you ride it in today?" Masters of the obvious, I tell ya.

You ever had one of those nights when you wake up at 3am and your head is buzzing with all of the things that you need to do ...

and it's hard to fall back asleep? I had one of those this weekend. Man, I hate those.

The thing about mental health days

I'm not going to work today. Just called in that fact. I'm fully showered, dressed, have my makeup on and everything. I was in the middle of making my lunch. But I cannot will myself out the front door for work. There are so many other things I would rather be doing today - reading, sleeping, laundry. That's right, laundry is more important than being at work today.

I don't have any meetings today, besides the weekly, extremely useless, branch meeting. I don't have anything of my own due today, and I am ahead on my consultation work... well, mostly. Nothing on my calendar besides a softball game, which I'm still planning to go to, by the way. I fully aware that nothing will get accomplished at work today. And considering that the next two weeks are the quarterly time reporting survey (where we literally have to report the amount of time we're spending on particular kinds of work) and that "blogging," "sleeping," and "daydreaming" are not catergories I can choose, I, therefore, choose to remain home.

Me, but not me...

This was my second attempt. I didn't like the one I made yesterday, so I won't post it. I like MS's interpretation as well... although, I wonder about the straitjacket...

Well... people always said I was cheesy

You Are a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

You are a traditional person with very simple tastes. In your opinion, the best things in life are free, easy, and fun. You totally go with the flow. And you enjoy every minute of it! Your best friend: The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Ham Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

And thus far I have no enemies.

Totally juvenile

But I have to mention this. Every time I come into the building at work, I have to pass through a metal detector and put my stuff through the x-ray machine. This is something I noticed today, only because the monitor for the x-ray faced me as I picked up my stuff:

The image of a banana passed though an x-ray machine in my lunchbag is really funny.


I warned you that it was juvenile.

Hot or not?

I just finished this article and felt it would be so incredibly unfair to not share. What happens when you realize you are part of an "inter-facial" relationship? When you and the one you're with are not in the same "hotness" category? When you look at a couple with a hot girl and a dorky guy and think, "he must be loaded" - (Donald Trump anyone?).


I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and this is all superficial. But we all think it at one time or another. And, let's face it, this shit's just funny.

Stuck in a moment...

I've been in better moods. It's one of those times where pretty much everything is off. Unmotivated. Tired. Busy. Moody. Not enough hours in the day... yet the days feel like they drag on forever.

I think it's time to refocus on the little things that make me happy. I've let life get in the way of living for a little too long, I think. Time to get out of this rut!

And now a random word...

"The tips at the end of shoelaces are called 'aglets'. Their true purpose is sinister."

Thanks Mishines for reminding me just how great this quote is.

Hot Potato (the final word)

Well, I knew it was coming. Here is the final report emailed to everyone in the building about the "event" yesterday:

To: 9200 ----- Occupants
From: ---- Health and Safety Office

Subject: Emergency Evacuation at 9200, April 23, 2007

On Monday, April 23, 2007 fire alarms sounded in response to a "smoke event" from a microwave oven on the second floor. This alarm triggered a call to the alarm monitoring company and in turn Montgomery County Fire and Rescue was dispatched.

According to the alternate Occupant Emergency Coordinator, all emergency evacuation procedures were followed and "there was a good evacuation with all floors reporting in". It was reported that security did not immediately unlock two of the three glass doors at the main entrance at the building. It is unclear why these doors were locked at all during normal business hours. --- security has been notified and we have requested that all three doors remain unlocked while the security guards are on duty.

After a review of the situation, the --- Safety Office feels that the current evacuation plan worked as intended and would like to thank all occupants for their cooperation.

If you have any questions, please contact the --- Safety Office at 301-***-****.

A "smoke event." That just seems so... dull.

Hot Potato (one more thing)

... I forgot to mention one more detail. When the 3 firetrucks showed up, the firemen actually got out, dressed in full gear, with oxygen tank and all, and made their way into the building to check for the source of the alarm. The weren't exactly rushing. It was more like they were on a Sunday stroll... if you consider wearing all that gear on an 80 degree day to check out a smoking tater tot a Sunday stroll.

Hot Potato (or how to evacuate a building)

So, today I am responsible for, literally, clearing out the building. Who knew that tater tots + microwave = 3 firetrucks? Seriously.

What happened? I was just heating up part of my lunch (the aforementioned tater tots). Our microwave in the office, well, it sucks. The tots were in for maybe 45 seconds when they started to smoke. Took them out, peeked in the container. Then the alarms started going off. And the alarms are LOUD.

Co-workers standing outside on this beautiful spring day either were congratulating me or just laughing it up. When the third fire engine showed up, I started to get a little sheepish... But only a little.

Down and up

I'm been in a, shall we say, grumpy mood these days. It's the weather. No, seriously, it is. Spring and fall are my favorite seasons of the year. The parts of the year that are most colourful and vibrant, for their own reasons. Spring is the time everything comes out of hibernation, including myself. Well, this spring has been far from normal.

Besides late season snow storms and the slightly more than usual April showers, it's been downright cold and unsunny. I think I must run on chlorophyll, because the first (and really only) reaction I have when I wake up and the sun isn't out, is to pull the covers back over my head and hide. This morning was the first really sunny morning in a long time, and I pretty much jumped out of bed. It's still cold, but I'm working at home and all the blinds are open.

I'd been so wholly unmotivated recently that I'm a bit taken aback as to how much this sunny morning has affected me so far. I think this picture of Thor sums up how I've been feeling as of late:

Happy Easter Casserole!

Sometime last year, there was some discussion among a few of us about "Caucasian Culinary Curiosities" aka "White People Food". You know, food that us, well, ethnic people, weren't exposed to during our childhood. For example, I had never eaten a casserole until well into adulthood. And I certainly had never made one.

That is... until now. As a part of my birthday gift, as a joke, Crazy (a very proudly self-proclaimed "Mid-western white person") gave me the Campbell's Casserole & One-Dish Recipe Cards book. Probably one of the funniest gifts I ever got. Well, she and Sweet Pea invited us over for Easter dinner, and I insisted that I should make the green bean casserole*.

Here is the casserole before the oven:


And ready to serve:


It was surprisingly quite tasty!

*Note: This casserole falls under two different "white people" food categories - "casserole" and "food wet with Campbell's cream soup."

Max Sandwich

So, it's been nearly a year to the day since I introduced everyone to Max. And nearly a year to the day, JS and Max got into an accident.

The DC commute is evil. I call the DC Beltway "Satan's Circle" because of how evil it is. Stop-and-go traffic is the absolute norm. And is usually rapid-go followed quickly by rapid-stop. That's what happened last night.

JS was nearly home - driving up I270, the home stretch. His "go" had come to a quick stop in front of him. And while he and Max were able to stop, the car behind him wasn't. The impact sent him from a dead stop into the car in front of him. Max sandwich.

JS is fine. He has a headache that hasn't yet gone away and his neck is stiff (we're going to the doctor later, just to be sure he's okay). And while Max is not smooshed, he's a little... crooked. The front is quite a bit cockeyed, so much so that the driver's side front door has to be forced open. There are very precise indentations of the bolts from the other car's license plate holder on the rear bumper and his plate (the bumper seems to have taken the impact well, but we don't yet know if there's anything going on underneath). And Max is leaking.

Of the three cars involved in the accident, Max got the worst of it (double impact) and was the only one not able to drive away.

So, we're serious about ordering some

Who wants one?

Oh Joy, Oh Rapture!

Down here in Maryland, there is a very large population of Christians, particularly the kind that CawfeeGuy likes to refer to as "Crazy Christers." How do I know? When driving around, I observe many a car with those fishies (which, by the way, I'm particularly fond of the Darwin parody. There are also the stupid bumper stickers which say "Warning: In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned" or something to that effect. For those who don't know what the Rapture is, it's the idea that when the judgement comes, the believers will be taken to Heaven, body and soul.

Anyway, JS and I were chatting yesterday while he was sitting in particularly bad traffic. Or rather, what was supposed to have been bad traffic according to the radio, but it was, in fact, eerily quiet. So, the obvious question was, where the f*uck is everyone? OH MY GOD, the RAPTURE occurred! Well, we were joking that's what happened. Then JS came up with this for a bumper sticker:

I hope this Rapture thing happens soon.
My commute would be so much easier!

Maybe we should get that one made.

There are so many things which disturb me about this...

But one of the things that disturbs me the most is the fact that the doctor made her diagnosis of ADHD and bipolar based mainly on the mother's description of the child's behaviour and behaviour "briefly observed" during office visits.

I could go on a tirade about the fact that people are over-medicating their children. I could go on and on about the fact that the majority of the psychotropic medications out there were never tested on children and that the long term effects of taking such powerful drugs are not known. I could go on and on about how temper tantrums and misbehaviour are part of childhood.

We live in a fast paced world and it's hard to keep up. It's always been hard to keep up with children, and life does not make it any easier these days. But parents are supposed to protect their children. Not give them a pill to keep them quiet when it's inconvenient.

It's easy to say that the parents were not well educated and didn't know any better. But judging from the fact that the mother kept going back for more and more pills... I personally believe there is no doubt she knew what she was doing.

What do you want to do when you grow up?

A couple of months ago, I was invited to give a talk to future biomedical engineers at Hopkins. The talk is for a class called "BME in the Real World" and happens to be tomorrow. I was told I can pretty much talk about whatever it is I wanted, so long as it has to do with how I ended up where I am.

Well, as I was putting together my presentation, it got me thinking about it all. When I was really young, I wanted to be a teacher, because that's the only thing I ever saw women doing back then. My Mom made clothes for a living, and I didn't see myself doing that. As I got older, I wanted to be a doctor - a radiologist to be exact. I knew even then that I would not have a good bedside manner. Then I wanted to cure the common cold, then cancer. Then I went to engineering school for no other reason at the time other than I was really good at math and physics. Then I wanted to go to grad school - partially because I wanted to hold off getting a real job and partially because I didn't feel like I was finished learning yet.

When I entered grad school, I had dreams of finishing in 5 years, doing a post-doc and becoming a professor. Doing great research. Having my name published and becoming a world renowned expert at ... well, something. Then getting the Ph.D. became a means to an end. I no longer wanted to do great research and learned, through my TA experience, that I really do love teaching (hey, we're back to wanting to teach again). That was truly the most satisfying part of my grad school life - watching students learn. But I no longer wanted to jump through the rest of the hoops to get there - it was too unsatisfying, too scary and too depressing.


So I am here. And I love my job and get great satisfaction from it. I have yet to be bored with anything that I do. There are annoyances, as with everything. And there are days I don't want to come. But, for the most part, I like it here. And I will probably continue to like it until I no longer have anything to learn.

A long time ago, I figured out that I am happiest so long as I am learning. If I ever get to the point where I feel I have nothing more to learn, I know I need a change. I knew it was time to wrap up my Ph.D. when I hit that point. I have not yet hit that point here. I'm not sure I will anytime soon. Which is good, I suppose, cuz I like it here.

Happy Birthday MS!

Another year of absolute fabulousness past. Many, many, MANY more to come!

It's a man's world... but does it have to be?

Every once in a while I read an article about the state of women in leadership and I get depressed about how much further we need to go. Whether it's women in high level positions in business, university, professorships, whatever. A few months ago, there was an article in the NY Times which talks about the fact that, even though the female undergraduate population in sciences and engineering are increasing, the number of tenured female professors has remained stagnant. The general frustration that women scientists and engineers feel in trying to get ahead - having to work harder, prove themselves more, but skirting the edge of being called a bitch for being too ambitious.

Today, a new survey shows that men and women still prefer being bossed by a male versus female. The survey found "a bonanza of stereotypes among those polled, with many using the optional comment section to label women 'moody,' 'bitchy,' 'gossipy' and 'emotional.' The most popular term for woman, used 347 times, was "catty.'" I find these descriptors interesting, since when you ask about males who are not fit to lead the words that usually come up are "unprofessional," "unproductive" and the like. At least in my experience.

I do admit that when a male colleague is being whiny or annoying, I usually say he is "acting like a girl." Maybe I should put that away. The funny thing is, at my job, all the way up the chain of command to the Office Director, the managers are all female, save one. And that one, well, he's not what I would call much of a leader in comparison to the others.

It's hard. I happen to be in a career path where, as a female, I have always been the minority. Yet I work in a place where a great majority of the managers are female. What does that say? It's all still progressing. The majority of people surveyed had no preference of male or female. And there is still hope despite the closing comment of the article:

“As liberated as I consider myself to be, I think I’d have a problem taking orders from a woman.”

I need a Hiro...

There are very few shows that I watch on TV. It's pretty obvious that Grey's Anatomy is one of them. One show I haven't talked about is Heroes. CawfeeGuy posted about it a while back.


Tonight, there was a hell of a cliffhanger. A lot of shit was revealed, a whole bunch of answers and a whole shit load more questions. How far into the future did Hiro and Ando teleport? How is Linderman tied into it all? Does he run the "Company?" Is he opposed to them? How much does Peter and Nathan's Mother actually know? Will Mohindar die, or at least quit his whining? Can they all, in fact, save the world?

And there are 6 weeks before another new episodes. SIX FREAKIN' WEEKS. Sorry. Didn't mean to shout.

You spin me right round, baby, right round

So, MS recently posted about all the annoying, over-dramatic histrionics by Meredith on Grey's Anatomy recently. Well, apparently, the "all about me" attitude exists in real life too.


Recently it was announce that Grey's would be spinning off a show centered around Addision Montgomery. Whether or not it would work, we'll have to see. But Addision is such a great character, I have mixed feelings about whether she should stay on the show or have her own. Apparently, the cast of Grey's is none too happy. Particularly Ellen Pompeo, the impossibly skinny actress who plays the impossibly whiny Meredith. I specifically find this funny:

The source adds that “Grey’s” star Ellen Pompeo “seemed particularly peeved because she felt that, as the star, she should have been consulted.”

I never really considered her the "star" of the show. I know the show is called Grey's Anatomy, but the show has such a strong ensemble cast that, depending on the storyline or episode, any one of them could be the "star." I guess I just find all the other characters just so much more interesting.

Gung Hay Fat Choi!

What a difference an hour makes

Previously, I've talked about how lucky I am to be at a job where I can basically make my own hours. It's great. I've been here for nearly two years now, my contract is about to get renewed (all the papers were signed by management, now I need to sign whenever I get them), and I really wouldn't change anything.

I generally get in about 8:30 - 9:00am and leave about 6:00pm or thereabouts everyday. Today I got in at 7:30am, since I have somewhere I need to be at 4:00pm. I didn't think it was a big deal. There was a time, way back when I started that I got in at 7:30am every single day (I was still in grad student mode) and it never bothered me. I was perfectly competent and capable from the time I got in. Today, I'm here and I'm totally useless.

At some point over the past year or so, I discovered I really like sleeping in. Not much, mind you, but just enough that I would get in about an hour later. God, I never realized how much of a difference that hour makes. I am, right now, quite literally falling asleep at my desk. What sucks is that I was asleep by 10:30pm last night, so it's not like I didn't get enough sleep. This sucks.

I'm going on a search for caffiene now... Maybe I'll have more when I'm actually awake. Then again, probably not.

I don't need to prove how big mine is because I don't have one!

So, I've apparently been drawn into a pissing contest. Over the stupidest thing. And I certainly didn't start it and have no intention of continuing it. But I've been drawn into it nonetheless.

Here's the deal. We're migrating email servers, and because of this, everyone has been told to reduce their mailboxes to below 200mb. With some of these people, this will be impossible, but that's not where I'm going. Anyway, during our Division meeting yesterday, we were chatting about ways of reducing, saving, downsizing, etc. At a certain point, MBE (the director) looks for Patsy (he's supposed to be our IT point of contact), and asks a couple of questions. Then she looks to me (who has been an unofficial point of contact for several specific people in the Division, including MBE) and asks me a few questions about setting up local folders and whatnot (something I did for her a long time ago). After a little bit of conversation, she asks me to research the problem further and to have a chat with our office IT person and get back to the Division. Now, during the entire time of our conversation, Patsy is sitting behind MBE kind of grumbling to himself - I'm guessing he was upset that I was asked to do something he technically was in charge of.

Anyway, I shoot off an email to the IT manager for the office and await a response. Before I get a chance to talk to the IT manager, Patsy has sent an email to the Division on the subject about which I was asked to research. No sooner had I read his email (and was laughing my ass off since it was clear what he was trying to do), did I get an email from the IT manager to come have a chat. To make a long story short, everything that Patsy had just advised everyone to do, the IT manager said was not advised (unless there was no choice) for a variety of reasons. As a result, I had to send an amendment to his email, explaining everything I had just spoken to our IT manager about.

I had a feeling that it would not end there. And I was right. When I got in this morning, there was another email in my inbox from Patsy. All I could do was laugh. It basically gave everyone advice about reducing their mailbox size (which I had briefly outlined in my email) and a reiteration of what the IT manager had stated and what I had already sent in the previous email:

"Having said all of that, local folders are still okay, but it should be stressed not to move then entire contents of your email over to it. If you’re close to 200MB, you could set up a local folder and move some info into it for items that you may not want lost during email migration, etc., but please refrain from moving too much. As J------ stressed, IT folks are worried that users will back up their entire inbox onto a local folder.." (J----- is the IT manager)

The reason why I find this hilarious is that everything that was in his email was already in mine, but written in a tone which made it seem like it was either new or insightful because he wrote it. The other reason is because, when I amended Patsy's email with the correct information, I responded to it, keeping the original copy attached so that people would know what I was referring to. His email this morning had all other previous responses deleted.

I have no intention of continuing this idiocy. I didn't realize I was dealing with a 5 year old. I thought this kind of shit stopped in junior high. Why is it necessary for a 28 year old man to jump up and down, waving his hands screaming, "Look at me! I can do it better!!"?