I'm still alive

But I am buried in work. I'm essentially doing 2 jobs at the moment, until I can get the rest of the old documents off my desk. Then I can concentrate on being boss lady (well, middle management, but who's counting).

Everything has been both wonderful and hectic at the same time. The holidays and New Year's passed in a blink, and I'm shocked that February is next week. At some point, it'll slow dow, right?

Snow Day!!

There are plenty of benefits to working for government... who knew that one of them was snow days? That's right. I have a snow day* today. It's like being a kid again!

This was the deck near the end of the storm on Saturday night.

I do have to say... after 3 hours of digging out the car. It's nice to not have to go anywhere.

*I won't mention that I actually took this week off anyway to get last minute Christmas stuff done, because the snow day essentially means I don't have to take a vacation day. Which is always a bonus.

Huh? Wha? How did it become late November?

It's been a busy couple of months 'round these parts. Far more busy than I could have imagined... Right after getting back from my mini vacay after getting married, I learned that I got the promotion that I interviewed for. I was really happy, excited, stressed and totally bummed out at the same time.

The first three reactions are pretty obvious. Of COURSE I would be happy and excited for this new opportunity. Of COURSE I would be stressed because of all my new responsibilities and because I would, essentially, be doing 2 jobs until they hire someone to take my old position. But bummed out?

Let me explain. When we moved to our new offices, so far away from our old office (and more importantly, home), one consoling fact was that I would be sharing the hallway with all of my crazy friends. See, the office is build in 2 sections with a main atrium in between. Because of the way the offices were distributed, our division got offices on both sides of the atrium, with the majority of the group on one side of the atrium. So, a bunch of us plotted to choose offices on the OTHER side. And once we moved in, it became exactly what we had hoped - a hallway full of misfits, where crazy would break out at any moment, and where laugher was the rule versus the exception (oh, and because of the personalities, we are also able to get all our work done too).

Well, one of the things that had to happen when I got promoted to management was that I had to move into a "management" office, i.e., an office in the main group with everyone else. I begged and pleaded to stay where I was. There were plenty of members of my branch on that side of the building. It was "quieter." I would be able to work more effectively. Nope. I had to move. I was able to delay it a couple of weeks... but it could not be avoided. And so came the fateful day...

And the day I moved, I had some "help" from my friends... who would occasionally steal some things back from the cart I was using. I know. Wah wah. I got a promotion. There are consequences. But I truly feel like I'm missing out on the fun. Which I guess is part of the point of management, huh? But I miss them. And the joy. And laughter... across the atrium. But I know they miss me too...

*sigh* It makes me sad too.

Office Moving Day

Well, the day that many of us at the office have dreaded for years is finally here. It's moving day. We (and all our stuff) are moving in phases to the new snazzy facility... much further away from here.

Some history - this move has been planned for years. I mean YEARS. But, life moves at the speed of government, and because of budget cuts, etc., the move date kept getting pushed back and back and back. When I started 4 years ago, we were supposed to move within a year. Then the date got moved. Then moved again. Wolf was cried so many times that we (hoped) that it would never happen. But when the final announcement came that today would be the day, and our moving crates showed up 2 weeks ago, well, we knew there would be no more denying it.

So we've been packing over the last 2 weeks. And yesterday was the final frenzied push by everyone. I mean the place was a disaster area. And today, we're all working at home while our stuff gets moved. And (theoretically) everything will be there, computers hooked up and everything, when we get there on Monday.

They kept telling us to make sure to label everything (including our keyboard and mouse (seriously)) or it would not get moved. So, just to make sure that nothing got left behind...

*Thanks to my friend Timmy who came up with this idea and took the picture.

Under water

I am so busy that I am barely keeping afloat.

*gurgle*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just feeling a bit overwhelmed. Okay. I'm done.

Happy 2009. Everything is nuts

Yes yes. Promises promises. I know. I've been saying that I would tell the story of our appraisal limbo, our settlement craziness, and finally, and most importantly, the acquisition of our house. I promised. And I will keep it. It's just been so crazy since before Christmas... We have not stopped.

We are packing. And packing. And spending boat loads of money on electronics. And packing more. But at the same time, I have work - including 5 documents due in the next week. So I've been more than a little busy. But moving day is Monday (YAY!!). And we will have FiOS by the end of next weekend.

Once the dust settles a little, I'll tell the full story. Promise.

Ruminations...

Sometimes I just feel like a hack. It's a very strange thing. For all of my accomplishments, and even with all the people in my life, work or otherwise, telling me how proud they are, how highly they think of me, or whatever, I often feel like I don't deserve it or that somehow I've got everyone fooled. I mean, people come to me for my "expert" opinion about crap. That's what I'm paid to do. To give an expert analysis. Whatever.

What brought this on this time? I interviewed for another temporary promotion the other day, and was told yesterday that I had been selected for the second half of the term. I was very surprised and excited, particularly since this position is in my current division. This morning, I had a short chat with my director and she said she thought very highly of me, and even though I'm not ready yet for a permanent position(something I very clearly agree with, and said so in my interview), I will be soon, and that there will be more opportunities soon... "If you know what I mean."

Oh, god.

I'm surrounded by so many incredibly intelligent and talented people. And I'm not one who compares oneself to others, but it is intimidating sometimes. For all of my confidence and bravura, I still sometimes think that I'll be discovered for a poser - that somehow that's who I really am. Eeeeeeehhhhhh.... *breathe*

I'll be better tomorrow.... I hope.

No longer in charge

Well, the two months of my temporary promotion are over and I am back in my office, trying to do my own work again and I'm feeling really disoriented. I mean, I can't even remember where shit is in my own desk. I'm trying to figure out what work I have to catch up on, what came in while I was gone that now I'm in the middle of, and where the hell my F-ing paperclips are.

I'm all sorts of grumpy today. After being gone for the last 2 months, I am truly afraid that I'm going to be really bored doing my own job. I was already starting to need more before I left (which is one of the reasons why I left), and now that I've seen all of the stuff that's out there, I look at my own work and think, "Huh, well... that's quaint."

There's some reorganization that's going to happen soon, which will most definitely shake things up. But as it stands, it doesn't look like I will be very affected by the reorganization, so I'm somewhat disappointed. *sigh*

Things I have learned over the past couple of months:

1. I like being an engineer more than a chemist
2. Lasers are really cool
3. Working on cosmetic devices makes me feel cheap somehow
4. I really like my work at home days
5. I like having a window office
6. The air is thinner on the third floor
7. Maybe stability isn't all it's cracked up to be

We'll see how things go. Maybe I need to take some reviewer details to see what else is out there. But I'm quickly learning that I'm not likely to get very far where I am, since there are so many other people who have been here so much longer than I have, and they are already the "go-to" people. It would take a lot for me to get to that point around here. There are more decisions ahead of me... much sooner than I had originally thought.

Seriously, I cannot possibly still be THIS tired.

I didn't do anything last night. And yet I'm still totally exhausted. I'm totally convinced it's because I've gotten so used to having a work at home day that my body is completely rebelling against the fact that I haven't taken one in nearly 3 months. I know. Weh! I'm sure no one feels sorry for that.

Whatever.

We're not weird. We're just ... different.

One of the interesting things that I've had to deal with in my new temporary job is having to deal with a disgruntled employee (DE) who has been terminated, whose last day of work is tomorrow. Beginning with emails emploring me, if I have any influence at all, to give him another chance, to lashing out during group meeting at his mentor for doing things "behind his back." Frankly, this person was released from his job for lack of performance, and it's pretty obvious, even to me, who has known this person for all of a week.

The confrontation in group meeting began because I gave DE a document back because I did not understand how he came to his decision. If I'm going to put my signature on a document, I need to understand how the decision was made. I simply could not. The argument started with DE blaming is mentor for lack of mentoring and then escalated to him talking about how he was unfairly treated. I told him I would speak to him about the document, and only the document, after meeting.

During this after meeting conversation, DE continued to try to give me all the reasons why it was unfair that he had been fired and why I should give him another chance. I repeatedly told him that the decision was made, I had no influence over it, and I wanted to discuss the document. The conversation kept going around and around for 20 minutes. I should have closed the door, but I didn't think of it at the time. And the conversation was heated enough (read: kinda loud, but not yelling), that the Associate Director poked her head in to see if everything was okay.

After it was over, Lisa came by to see if everything was okay. In her words, "I don't think I've ever heard that tone of voice from you before." You know, that firm but serious tone. But why would she? Needless to say, I think I demonstrated that even though I am here temporarily, I'm not going to take crap.

Later on in the day, at the point where I was pretty much chilled out, another member of my branch (whom I had known only as the Guy Who Slapped His Dummy During CPR Class) pops in for this amusing commentary:

GWSHDDCC: I just wanted to let you know that we're not weird. We're just different.

Me: (as I'm laughing) Thank you. Did I ever mention that I thought you guys were weird.

GWSHDDCC: No. But not all our meetings are like that, and not all of us are like that.

Me: Oh, I know.

GWSHDDCC: But I wanted to let you know just in case. It's like a kid who steals milk and says he didn't do it before anyone accuses him, but he's standing there with a milk mustache.

Me: Oh, I see. Well thank you. And I'll take that into consideration.

I was requested to post something, since I haven't in a long time. But not about work. Sorry, I need to talk about work for a moment, so bear with me.

So this week was my first week on the job of my temporary promotion. What the hell does this mean. Well, for the next 2 months, I am officially a manager. Not like those times (for those of you who have Google Chat) where I state "I'm in charge." Those times were unofficially - taking on some duties on top of my own job. I was really no more than a conduit for documents in and documents out. Now, I am managing in a Division that is not my home Division, a group of people who I don't yet know, and am being officially recognized for it. I'm even on the revised Organizational Chart (Woohoo... whatever).

Anyways, I had a moment my very first day in my new job, where I was all: WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF INTO!?!?!?!?!?!!? I think I'm okay. Apparently my decision was received well, and I impressed people. *WHEW* Overall, it's been okay so far. But then again, I'm still trying to get names and faces matched. So we'll see.

The hard drive for my work laptop failed yesterday. Failed. As in, I cannot access anything. I cannot even boot up.

It happened at 5:30pm. On a Friday. Which means I cannot even report it until first thing Monday morning. All I keep thinking is "I haven't backed up in a really long time. All my work is essentially gone."

I want to throw up.

Yeah, so what if I don't remember high school French

I admit it. I suck. I can't remember a lick of French right now. But we're in New Orleans. And I think that makes up for it.

PS: There is WAY too much food.

Mommeeee?

It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I almost always fall out of my chair laughing. This time, I call and the teeeniest little girl voice answers the phone. And when I ask to speak to the consultant, all I hear is the the teeeny little girl voice fading away saying, "Mommmeeeeee? The phone is for you."

Things like this make my day brighter.

I got nothin'

I am so incredibly busy this week, that the blog is going to be pretty boring. Who am I kidding, the blog's been pretty boring of late because I've been so busy. This week is just the culmination of the busy - everything is due on Friday. Hopefully, by next week, it'll be better. At least I'll have time to try harder, I promise.

Time? What time?

One part of my job which I find annoying is that once every quarter we do this time-reporting thing, where we have to account for how much time we spend on particular aspects of our job. We have to do it everyday for the allotted 2 weeks or get on the naughty list sent to our supervisors. It literally is like this:


I hate doing this. I feel like it's a waste of time. I'm one of those people who believes, if you're getting your work done, and doing it well, what's the point of accounting all the minutes? But, we have Congressionally mandated timelines, and "the people" need to know where all the money is being spent. Funny enough, WE never see the results of these quarterly surveys. And we always wonder why there isn't a code to categorize the time that it takes to fill out the stupid reporting.


But, of course, there isn't a code for blogging, either.

Seriously. I should not be ALLOWED to come into the office on Wednesdays.

Why? Because I am a total hot mess on Wednesdays. See, Wednesdays are usually my work at home days. But for the last couple of weeks, I've been in charge, which means no working at home. Problem is, it seems like whenever I come to the office on Wednesday, a whole bunch of stuff just goes wrong.

This morning, I had to fight with the dog to lock him in the bedroom because the workmen are FINALLY coming to paint the wall from the ceiling leak (which occurred a month ago - but we won't go there). Then, running late (see fight with dog), the lid pops off my mug and tea spills all over the car. After spending a bunch of time cleaning it up, I prepare to leave, grab my new sunglasses and the arm falls off (screw came out). I hadn't even left the freakin' garage yet! I nearly said screw it and walked back upstairs, but I have too much crap to do and meetings today.

Well, I'm here, at my desk. My sunglasses are fixed - I have a repair kit in my desk. (Hey, I work in ophthalmic products. Of course I have a repair kit.) I realized I didn't lose that much of my tea, and I am enjoying it now. And I am trying to get perspective on the fact that it's all good. I will be fine. And later I will have a good laugh about it. Well... maybe tomorrow.

Bah! Humbug!

I should have left over an hour ago. It's 5pm on the 21st. I wrote on my timesheet I was leaving at 4pm because I have about a bazillion things I need to do before going to New York tomorrow. And I considered that when I handed in my timesheet and wrote 4pm. But I'm still here. Why? Because Patsy didn't get his file done. And I'm in charge of my branch today. Which means I need to stay until he's done and I sign it out. I could blame other people for the slowness of the workflow. I could. But I won't. Because he's the team leader and it's ultimately his responsibility to get shit done. And he's very passive-aggressive on days when I'm in charge and he has something due. He holds everything close to his chest and doesn't give me updates. Won't let me look at stuff. Tries to bypass me to and have the director look at it instead. Except on days, like today, she's incredibly busy. And doesn't have time to do the primary edits, which she tells him to give to me (which he should have done in the first place).

I'm annoyed. Annoyed beyond words. Because I have so much crap to do. Far too much. And I have NO IDEA when I will be leaving. None.

Seriously, you can't make this crap up

We decorated our Division Christmas tree today. When I was nearly done putting the finishing touches on the tree, one of our secretaries (SM) comes by for a chat:

SM: It's so nice that you guys are decorating.
Me: Thanks. It's our pleasure.
SM: You're doing a really nice job.
All: Thanks.
SM: (to me) You've done a nice job on the tree. It looks really nice.
Me: Why, thank you very much.
SM: Of course, I'm nearly blind, so you really can't take my word for it.
Me: Oh! That's rough.
SM: I'm just kidding (giggles as she walks away)

General collective groan from all.

Seriously, though, she is actually almost blind (trust me, the irony that she works in the Division of Ophthalmics has not escaped us). I just couldn't believe she said it.