Really. Did we ever think to call Thor a big dog?

We can also call this post - being locked out of the house can be an awesome adventure.

Pictures have been posted, so now it's time for amusing stories from the weekend... thanks for all the pressure, Magenta.

Let me start by saying that Chewie CANNOT possibly get cuter. Absolutely impossible. Terribly cute. Almost painfully so. Also, Thor - totally enormous compared to Chewie. Never in my life would I have thought Thor was a "big" dog. Yeah, I guess everything really is relative.


The puppies were good together. It was a little tough in the beginning - Chew was a little shy. But that could have something to do with the fact that he was almost eaten by another dog the evening before (Magenta can fill you in on that story). But after a walk, they were all good. Thor was chasing ChewChew as he scurried around the house (and scurry is definitely the word to describe it).

But one of the more entertaining parts of the weekend, besides the puppy clothing making debacle, was Sunday morning. It was early, Thor was grouchy, overprotective dog during the night(howling a warning while drunk people were passing by at 1:30am), so sleep was not terribly good, to say the least. We took the dogs out for a walk at around 7am (yeah, I know. I wish I wasn't up that early, but Thor wanted to eat, so whatever). After walking around the corner of the building, Magenta's all, "Shit. I didn't bring my key." We check the back and front doors. Shit shit shit.

Miraculously, I had my car keys in my coat - this never happens. Usually, they're in my purse until I need them, so this was total random chance stroke of luck. And we're off on some crazy college-like adventure to Trish's house, two dogs in tow, to get the extra house key. Careful not to get pulled over, as I was driving without a license. While we're in the car, MS, seeing a Dunkin' Donuts and wanting to answer the call of caffiene, asks if I have money. Just for meters... possibly enough for 1 coffee. A little digging, and a $5 bill magically appears out of MS's pocket. We're rich now!!

Rich enough for coffee. Oh, and did you know that you can buy munchkin's individually? Well, you can. For 14 cents each at this Dunkin'. Yeah. We were caffinated. We had 3 munchkins each (because really, that is the perfect number of munchkins, don't you think?). And we were on our way to get a key for Studio 120.

It was early. I really felt bad. We really felt bad. So bad that when there was no answer to our first knock, we sat in the car for a little while longer with our coffee and munchkins. And when Joe came to answer the door, with Little A in his arms, the look of total confusion was priceless. There was some question about whether the key was even findable. It was touch and go for a while. But 15 minutes and 2 key options later (and $20 in case the keys didn't work and we needed food while waiting for the locksmith to show up - thanks dad), we were back on the road with hope.

MS tried the unlikely key first, because there's no suspense in that, and besides, why not get the known entity out of the way, right? It obviously didn't work. The second one did. Heehee. We did the surprised little hop and hug move, followed by a little dance while singing, "We're in the hou-ouse! We're in the hou-ouse!"

We had a really fun time that morning. Seriously, it was like one of those college guerrilla adventures when you need food or alcohol in the middle of the night (not that I would know about such things, but theoretically).

There's a reason why I work at home on Wednesdays

Because things like this happen when I don't. Except today, the suicide tea-mug jumped before I even got into the car. In the garage. While I was putting my bag in the back seat.

I have to be in the office because I am temporarily in charge for another week. This week in general has been particularly bad because of the whole time-change crap. My body's all sorts of confused. God, I want to go home.

We just had a fire drill...

And this time, I didn't do it.

It's Monday

... I know you love it when I state the obvious. Unfortunately, I have absolutely nothing witty to say. Although we "fell back" this weekend, and the circadian rhythms have not yet synchronized with the giant clocks, and I automatically woke before 7am today rather than 8am, I'm still tired.

I am, however, looking forward to this coming weekend. I have Veteran's Day off next Monday, since I work in the public sector, and it's one of those strange national holidays that we actually take off. So this 3 day weekend will become at least 4 (perhaps even 4.5, if I can leave early on Thursday) as I make my way to NYC, Long Island and Connecticut. It's early Thanksgiving celebrations this year because I don't even want to THINK of dealing with the monumental traffic that is Thanksgiving traffic.

So this weekend, it will be seeing Dad, hangin' with Jay, Angie and Hauser, and seeing Tri, MS and meeting Little Baby Chew Chew. All other new puppy meet-and-greets will have to wait for Christmastime, I think.

I can't wait for Thor and Chewie to meet, particularly because of the image that I have in my mind that Chewie is about the size of Thor's head. I hope it goes well, since Thor adores Auntie MS, follows her around everwhere and listens to her. So, we have to be sure that he loves Chewie too. Thor gets confused when he meets dogs that are smaller than he is, because it doesn't happen often.

I can't wait for the weekend. But as I said earlier - it's Monday. So I'll have to be a little patient.

Vagina vagina vagina

Okay, now that I have your attention.

This is going to be a post about the word VAGINA:
Function: noun
Inflected Form: plural va·gi·nae /-(")nE/ or va·gi·nas
a canal in a female mammal that leads from the uterus to the external orifice opening into the vestibule between the labia minora

We are going to be talking about the word vagina and not about the vagina itself. Why? I started thinking about it when I read this article about the term "va-jay-jay" of Grey's Anatomy lore (in the New York Times, no less). Long ago, in a land far away, I used to be a grad student. I was a grad student who did animal experiments on mouse vaginas. I think most of you know this. At some point, I was talking about my work at lab, and someone (a female, FYI) asked that I not use the word 'vagina' before noon. "It was too early in the morning to hear that," apparently. Too jarring for sensitive ears. This request was seconded (and thirded) by a couple of more people in the lab.

I had always thought of that reaction to be very interesting. It's a part of the female anatomy. Perfectly natural. The general population doesn't react to the word penis in the same way. Why is the name of female genitalia more jarring?

I never got my answer to that question while I was in grad school. However, me being who I am, got childish glee from watching people squirm. Rooms full of scientists, listening to my talk at meetings and symposia, wriggling in their seats everytime I said the word 'vagina.' I even had one woman come up to me after seeing my talk and ask me how I could stand up there and not be embarrassed. Again, not something I would even think of, since it was my research, and since I wasn't saying anything dirty. Vagina.

But it does bring up a salient point. Why is it that the word penis (and every euphamism for that word) is more accepted in popular vernacular, not even blinked at, while the word vagina isn't? I guess that's what the Vagina Monologues was trying to point out.

I like the word va-jay-jay. Vagina is an anatomical term which, as pointed out in the Times article, "is inadequate because it is not inclusive enough. It does not, they have pointed out, include the labia and clitoris, the nerve-rich locus of a woman’s sexual pleasure." While "Vajayjay...is like your good buddy."

It's the best buddy a woman can have.

Words of encouragement for Magenta

Dear Magenta -

You are having an emotionally and physically trying time trying to train the new man in your life. It will be okay. Training takes time.

You have a puppy who is just like you - he loves leopard print, shoes and he eats everything in sight. He followed you around at your ankles when you brought him home. He nestles in your boobs. He prefers beef to chicken. He loves you. You are his world. You are the leader of his new pack. Even after 6 years, I go through the "he doesn't love me" thing with my Thor. He is into you.

He knows all about the potty paper. He understands it most of the time. He doesn't go outside. He doesn't know that's what he's supposed to do yet. There are so many more interesting things outside for him to explore (see eating everything in sight). He will learn. It will get better.

He barks at night because he is lonely. And because he wants you to know he went potty. It is against canine instincts to sleep alone. He wants to be with you. You are his pack. So he tells you. It's what dogs do. He will eventually learn that he can sleep on his own and being quiet makes his mommy happy. You will sleep again.

Chewie is sick, has a bug in his tummy. It makes him unhappy and tired. It's making training him harder because he is not really himself. Once he is better, it will be easier. You are not a failure.

Just remember that every dog is different. Every dog has a different personality and takes different lengths of time to train. Chewie has been sick, which makes things so much harder. Lack of understanding from Chewie is not failure. Remember, he doesn't understand English yet. Keep to your plan. You are doing great. He will learn.

I am here. Just a phone call away.

Always with love,
Dr. K

I was going to post some pictures from the wedding

But MS has already done so, with much wittier commentary than I could have come up with. Don't we look hot though? Huh? Don't we? Yeah.

The wedding was beautiful. CawfeeGuy and Stephen looked so handsome. The wedding party looked great. And, oh yeah. I cried. A lot.

Conversation of the evening:
MS: Stephen, we were just noticing that everyone here is really attractive.
Stephen: Yeah, we don't hang out with the unattractive.

The great roast beef debate

Whenever I go back to NYC, as I did this past weekend, I call Dad to confirm that he wants a roast beef sandwich when I arrive. Dad loves a good roast beef sandwich, but he is very particular about how he likes to eat it. Only ever 1/2 a sandwich at a time, and always with a side of gravy for dipping.

For a long time, whenever I would call him, Dad would always respond with, "Yeah, give me a roast beef, but make sure you get it from the place by the water and not the other place." I always found this direction kind of superfluous, since I always got the sandwiches from Roll-N-Roaster, and I know he doesn't like the gravy from Brennan & Carr (which is really a jus and not gravy). But he would tell me. Every. Single. Time.

It wasn't until very recently did I figure out why it was so. Apparently, Jay would get sandwiches from Brennan & Carr for Dad. And thus, I would get reminded not to. *rolls eyes*

Well, this past weekend when I came home, Dad did not remind me to go to "the place by the water." Instead, when I called him, he said, "Don't forget a cup of gravy." Huh? Since when have I ever forgotten the gravy? In fact, I always get 2 cups of gravy (one for each half of his sandwich). When I got off the highway, I called him to see if he wanted anything else with his sandwich. He said no, but again reminded me about the gravy. What? Then, when I get home, and set up his little lunch for him, his wife comes into the kitchen and asks me (in Chinese) whether I got gravy. Okay, WTF?

Dad explained that last time, Jay forgot to get gravy. And again, I am the one who is reminded. Why am I posting all of this? What is the moral of the story? This:

JAY! WHEN YOU GET DAD A ROAST BEEF SANDWICH, GET IT FROM ROLL-N-ROASTER AND DON'T FORGET THE GRAVY!

Finally beginning to catch up

I've been super whiny recently about work. Sorry about that. I know the last thing you want to read when you're taking a break from your day is me being all whiny about work.

The good news is that I'm finally beginning to catch up. My document load is at a more than manageable level now. After several months of non-stop stress and being overwhelmed, this is a relief. I'll hopefully be able to start on all of the "side projects" that I've had lying in wait for however long. You know, all the things that one's asked to do, which don't really have a deadline so they just sit in the corner until one day someone says they need it tomorrow. That hasn't happened yet, thank goodness. But I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

On a much more fun note, I'm totally looking forward to this weekend. TJC is having a birthday tomorrow and we shall celebrate on Friday with much revelry, I'm sure. And of course, CawfeeGuy and Stephen's wedding, which is sure to be THE event of the season. I can't wait!

The thing about mental health days, Pt. 2

One of the bad things about taking days off is that you lose track of what day of the week it is. For example, because this is my first day in the office this week, my brain naturally though it was Monday. Unfortunately, that meant that my late lunch ran into a meeting I had scheduled for 2pm, which I also naturally forgot about - since in my head it was Monday, and not Tuesday. Oops.

The thing about mental health days

For me, mental health days are rarely "days off," per se. Why? Because, the reason why I take mental health days is not to relax. It's to deal with the crap build-up at home, which is part and parcel with my mental instability.

So far today: I've filed away about 4 months worth of household and personal bills, insurance information, and all sorts of other mailing that one is really supposed to keep in some sort of organized system; cleaned my bathroom; cleaned my office; done laundry; vacuumed; and rearranged my underwear drawer (I know, you really didn't need to know that. But for completeness sakes, we'll go there, okay?). Again, hardly a "day off." More like a day of work at home.

I've been going since about 8:30 or 9:00 this morning. I haven't even eaten lunch yet. Let's see what else I can accomplish today.


Update: 3:15pm - baking brownies

Certainly not a surprise

Although brilliant may be a bit of an exaggeration...

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive. You understand people better than they would like to be understood. Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details. You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on! Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

What Should Your Superpower Be?

I still have a job

Whew. Now I don't have to start putting together my resume. By the time this thing is up for renewal again in 5 years, I will likely be a permanent hire and not have to worry like this again.

Living in the unknown

I guess one of the bad things about working where I do is the bureaucratic crap that comes along with it. It's been in the background for months now. But back then, I thought that the deadline was ages away, and there would be no way this would be a possibility.

This possibility has nothing to do with my performance over the past 2 1/2 years. Nothing to do with the quality of the work I do. Nothing to do with the time I've spent. And yet. Here I am. With the deadline rapidly approaching, knowing that if it comes down to it, I would be one of the people on the chopping block.

Define me

LadyNil -- [noun]: A lewd street performer 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Hrm... Not so sure about this one. Lewd? Thanks, CawfeeGuy.

Bumper sticker of the day

"The rapture is not an exit strategy."

Shit like that just makes me giggle.

Slowly creeping my way forward

God, I'm tired. And today it's miserable outside. All rainy and dark and humid. Blegh. I so did not want to get out of bed today when I saw that out the window this morning.

It's a strange thing, this tiredness. Obviously, it relates to work. More specifically, my not wanting to be here recently. It's not that I don't like my job. I love my job. I've just been so busy recently that I'm overwhelmed... you know, the so-incredibly-busy-and-have-so-much-to-do-that-you-don't-even-know-where-to-begin-so-you-feel-like-you-can't-do-anything, kind of deal. And on top of that, there's the neck pain that just keeps coming back - sitting in front of a computer all day has really been doing a job on my neck.

So I'm tired. I'm achy. And on top of that, I'm being all whiny about it.

Blegh.

Cleaning surfaces

I had one of those "cleaning surfaces" moment the other day. And it's pretty much been continuous since then... I'm in a "cleaning surfaces" kind of mood. What does this mean? This is a label MS gave to a certain type of behaviour. It's the point where you can't take the clutter anymore and start cleaning. For me, I usually just snap. Justlikethat. And start moving shit around and throwing shit out. JS was looking at me the other evening, at 9pm when I just started cleaning the apartment, like I was a total nutcase.

And it continued through the weekend. Yesterday, the surface of choice happened to be the car. I didn't take it to the carwash. I HAD to do it myself. It's a state of mind, I think. A physical manifestation of trying to clear out my head. Or maybe the apartment is just a mess. Who the hell knows.

I didn't get as much cleaned in the apartment as I would have liked... I feel like I'm drowning in clutter. At least the furniture is back where it's supposed to be - sorta.

Star light, star bright... times 2

If you haven't seen this movie yet, you should. It's based on the book by Neil Gaiman, one of the greatest comic book writers of all time. According to JS, the movie is a bit more loosely based on the book than I had originally thought. When the book originally came out as a 4 part graphic novel, I had only read part 1; and while not exactly the same, it's not wildly dissimilar. Apparently, more liberties were taken after the point I had stopped.

Regardless, the movie is great. Michelle Pfeiffer is totally hot as the witch queen. It's funny. It's charming. It's surprising. And I was so excited to see it again last night after seeing it with MS last weekend. This is definitely going to be a DVD purchase when it comes out, if only to hear Robert DeNiro's commentary (and hopefully there is one) about his role as the "fearsome" Captain Shakespeare.

Oh, boy. What a surprise.

Gee. Flight delays and baggage mishandlings increased in the month of July. And it's the worst since 1995. Hmmm. Why am I not surprised?