No. But really. The lizard DID attack me...

Well, perhaps not attack, per se. Here's the story. MS, TC and I were sitting on a beautiful beach on Palomino Island at the El Conquistador Resort in PR. Under the shade of a mini-hut, umbrella type thing. I was reading and half-falling asleep and thoroughly relaxing. Then I feel this tickly feeling on my leg. I look down expecting to shoo away a fly or something. But no. I look down and there is a 6 or 8 inch lizard on leaning on my legs with it's front feet. Let's just say that at this point I made the most ridiculous, undulating scream to the effect of: WHAA-AA-AAH! One of those comedic, sitcom-like moments. Needless to say that the lizard quickly jumped off and ran away, likely quietly screaming about the crazy, loud chick. We had a good laugh after that.

At that point, there was really no falling back asleep, as we had all been jolted awake and I was hysterical laughing. So we went to lunch, which I lost later in the afternoon - but that's a different story entirely.

The lizard below is not the offending lizard, but one we saw roaming around while eating lunch:

Why I love Callie

Don't mind her. It's just the whole doctor thing... you know, 4 years of high school, 4 years of college, 4 years of med school. By the end we're in our mid 20's and have no idea. We're all social retards... It's high school, only with scalpels. We're 17. And I'm the girl sitting in the back of the classroom eating her hair.

Jon Stewart on...

J and I spent the evening at Merriweather Post Pavilion for an evening with Jon Stewart. I love Jon Stewart. We had the opportunity to see him a couple of years ago in Baltimore (he likes coming to Baltimore for some reason) and it was the best comedy show I had ever been to. He is hilarious and smart.

Last time around, I couldn't remember how he got from talking about the war on terror to ending the show talking about his dog puking. The transitions were that smooth. It also made it very difficult to remember anything about the show except the puking dog. So this time, I made an effort to try to remember other parts of the show - because I knew if he ended with his dog puking again (and he did, and it was just as funny as the first time), that I would not remember anything else if I wasn't taking mental notes.

So, here is Jon Stewart on...

... the president:

The president isn't stupid. I believe the president thinks we are stupid. Look at the way he speaks to us - "I make decisions. I'm a decision maker." That's his formula - I A B. I am B A. "As president, I protect the people. I'm a people protector."

... getting AIDS:

Senator Bill Frist, the Senate majority leader, actually got up on the Senate floor and said that there may be a chance that you can catch AIDS from tears. From tears. The ONLY way you can catch AIDS from tears is if the tears are coming from your cock.

... being a moderate:

The problem with being a moderate is that you can't motivate us to get out and shout our agenda... That's what the people on the extremes do. Think about it, getting all the moderates our there to shout out, "Hey! Lets all be reasonable!"

... science:

There are scientists out there experimenting with cloning. They are cloning to try to make humans... to make humans.*pause* There are 6 billion humans on the planet. Fucking is working.

I believe that the world will come to an end because of scientists. Don't get me wrong, I like science. But on Long Island, there is a particle accelerator, at Brookhaven National Labs. They are accelerating and colliding particles together because they think they know how the big bang occurred... and they're trying to recreate it. Think about that for a moment. They are going to collide these particles together and they are hoping they will make anti-matter... which will gobble everything up. The very last words uttered before the end of the world will be, "Hey. It worked!"

... homosexuality:

I mean, the "radical gay agenda." The radical agenda: they want to get married, join the army, be in the Boy Scouts. I don't understand why people are so up in arms about gay marriage. I mean, I would understand if they wanted to make it manditory - someone telling me, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to marry a dude." Really, let people be who they are. The head can be swayed, the heart can be tugged, but the dick wants what it wants - it's irrefutable.

... his dog:

I realized that my dog has no short term memory... I believe this is what goes on in his head: BLEAGH (throws up)... Ugh, I feel awful... *turns to see vomit* Oh! Food!

... recovering from 9/11

There was a time when we all believed that we would not see light again... that there would not be a time when we would laugh again. But we move on. And slowly, we are able to laugh and smile again. Something happened for me about 3 weeks after 9/11. I was walking out on my apartment, and there was a homeless man there. I looked at him. And he was jerking off. And at that moment, I thought, "Things are getting back to normal."

I'm so tired I can't even smile

But I had a great time.

Things I just don't expect to hear when I'm calling a consultant at work

"Sweetie, mommy is on the phone with FDA. You're going to have to get off the computer now."

What the &%@#*&?

When we drove into Virgina Beach, I had noticed these odd signs everywhere and wondered what they were...


Walking to dinner we noted them again. No cursing? Really? Is that what it actually means? After walking a bit more, we found the list of rules:


I love that this town feels the need to set an ordinance for proper bahaviour in public. It's very amusing actually. While walking to dinner, we heard quite a few people cursing, and wondered if we were allowed to send the thought police after them...

13.1 miles = 2:34:13

Virgina Beach was a great time. After fearing that Ernesto may wash out the weekend, it all turned out to be beautiful. It was a good omen when we were in the home stretch of the drive down, crossing the bridge-tunnel thing, that the sun broke through and clouds dispursed. Beautiful.

JS and I arrived at the hotel, where Crazy, SweetPea and SP were waiting. After picking up race packets and taking a nap, we went to dinner to celebrate and carb load for the race. Dinner, carb load, stopped at an arcade to partake of skee ball, Ms. Pac Man, air hockey and shoot 'em up saloon. It's the great joy of winning tickets to turn in for absolutely useless objects (we got 1 large and 2 small superballs, by the way). Great times and fun memories of childhood. After all this fun, we turned in early as gun time was at 7am.

Let me just say that waking up at 5am sucks. No matter what the reason. When the reason is to run a whole lot... makes it much harder. But we were there with a purpose. No crapping out now. Gun time was at 7am, which meant that the elite runners took off at that point. We of the slow corral did not even make it up to the start line until nearly 25 minutes later. Which also meant we knew that, at the point where the course loops back at miles 2 and 8 over the bridge, we would be seeing the leaders heading back before we even made it over the bridge.


It's quite humbling to see that, actually. And at the same quite cool.

My knee began to bother me at mile 2.5. Really, I was hoping that my body would coorperate on race day, and in all of my training, the distance I had been running before my knee began to annoy me had increased. Now it decides to be a bother. I ran through it. It really hurt at points and I walked a lot more of the race than I had hoped. But I kept going. There was nothing that was going to keep me from finishing, even if I had to crawl.

The course passed by the hotel at which we were staying at two points - in front on Atlantic Ave. and behind on the Boardwalk. JS and SP had made signs, and I was really looking forward to seeing the cheering squad. After having lost her earlier in the race, Crazy found me and we passed the hotel at Atlantic at the same time. No cheering squad. I was sad. But we figured that we had estimated the time we would be passing by wrong, since we didn't anticipate the long delay after gun time. Maybe they thought they missed us.

Coming around on the Boardwalk, I was searching for them again. From a distance I saw the signs hung up on the hotel room balcony. I hear my name. YAY! Cheering squad. Quick sweaty kiss and I was off to the finish, which was about 1.5 miles from that point. God, I think that was the longest mile I have ever run. But coming in, seeing the finish line in the distance approaching, I got a burst of energy and crossed the finish strong.

Afterward, well, not so much. It took forever to find each other at the end and even longer to make our way back to the hotel. But after getting off the shuttle bus, we turned the corner to the hotel and saw this on our room door:


That was probably the best thing ever. Made us all laugh out loud.

The rest of the day, I was pretty much useless. After that much stress, my metabolism was all screwed up. And I had a headache that just would not go away. I felt awful about it. I pretty much fell asleep in my lamb chops at dinner.

We're home. I'm achy. I'm sunburnt. My knee feels much better after some heat therapy. I have the personal satisfaction of accomplishing something I've never done before. I have a cool medal to show for my pains.


And I ask myself, would I do it again? In a heartbeat.

The end is near...

The end of summer that is. Okay, on the calendar, summer doesn't officially end until September 22nd or something (I can never remember). But for all intents and purposes, everyone equates the end of summer with Labour Day (just like the beginning is Memorial Day). And what better way to celebrate this last weekend of summer than a whole lot of rain from what is left of Hurricane Ernesto (aside: I find it amusing that while Ernesto, a hurricane with a pretty fun name, but little punch, is churning in the Atlantic, John, common name, much bigger punch, is slamming the Pacific. But that's just me, I like hurricane watching.)

My other end of the summer activity for the weekend is the long awaited half-marathon. Yes, it is finally here. And for all of you who made fun of me this past weekend for not running in the rain - the storm will be well past Virginia Beach by gun time. So, after a year of waiting and training, the race is finally here, and I actually feel prepared. We'll see how I feel Sunday afternoon when I'm done.

Mostly I'm kind of disappointed that the summer went by so quickly. I had so many plans that didn't work out for one reason or another. JS and I were supposed to go to the museum once a month in DC - that didn't work out. Life seemed to get in the way of living for a while, which is never a good thing.

But I have so much to look forward to this fall. Next weekend is the American Chemical Society's conference in San Francisco. Yes, I know, thrilling, right? But it's San Francisco, so I'm happy - as is JS because he's coming with me. Then it's PR at the end of the month with MS and TC. I'm sure there are going to be other fun things to do before the end of the year.

There is a mistique about summer though. It's the time of fun and free time, even though we are still working everyday. The weather I prefer is autumn. But I guess I will never be out of the kid mindset that summer is the fun time and the rest of the year is filler.

For fear of... me?

So, I was told yesterday that certain people are scared of me. I've always joked at one time or another that people, when they meet me, often find me to be scary. It generally depends on the situation under which we meet - in the lab, when I'm in the middle of an experiment, standing in front of a classroom of idiot college junior/senior BMEs, etc. I'm not an intimidating looking person by any means, and have spent most of my life being shy. But, given a certain situation where I am serious, I guess I can be scary.

Mostly, I'm just a happy person now. Just don't get me pissed off. It really does take a lot to piss me off, so people generally know to watch out when it happens. In talking to Cynical yesterday, she described a look I gave which she described as "so cold, I nearly ran out of the room." Efrex told me way back that I had, what he called, "The Stare," which apparently can curdle milk. So I guess that's what people fear - my anger or the possibility of my anger.

But again, it doesn't happen often. It's not like I pop off and yell at everyone who steps on my toe. It really does take a lot to get me to the point where I can't just brush it off. And most of the time, there's a long build-up to it.

I just find it humorous - me, scary and intimidating.

The Seven Worker Dwarves (revised)

Evil, Crazy, Bitter, Jaded, Cynical, Pissed and Maniacal.

We got rid of Clueless because, well, he was too clueless.

Introducing Hauser

Jay and Ang's new baby





And the question of the day from Jay: How do you train a pup to not pee and poop where he wants?

How do we define fugly?

Okay, okay. I'll admit it. I'm not a fashion maven by any stretch of the imagination. I don't generally follow the most current fashion trends. But I know what I am comfortable wearing, what I generally look good in, and I stick with what works. There are some things that took me a while to come around to - like capri/crop pants, which I now love. Some things I wish I could pull off (gouchos), but simply can't. And things that I will wear even if they go out of style - cargo pants and boot cut cords (not the ones with the fat cords, but the narrow ones that are actually slimming).

What is distressing me as of late is the apparent return of 80's style fashion.

"The fabulous '80s are staging a comeback for fall 2006. Especially in the form of leggings, booties and off-the-shoulder sweaters. For those of us who are, ahem, young enough to remember this glitzy era, our first initial reaction is to cringe. Visions of Madonna and Jennifer Beals appear dancing and grinding before our eyes."



Now, I've noticed it for a while, but it's coming on full steam. I mean, the outfit in the picture is actually being sold as "Sophisticated 80's Look." Seriously. There are some things that should just be left behind. MS once said that there were certain looks from the 80's which evolved into better things - the evolution of the legging to the yoga pant was her example. And I totally agree. I think it wouldn't be so cringe-inducing for me if one or two elements came back here and there. I believe it's the fact that it's coming back all at once that makes me want to scream: NOOOOOOOO!

I think I'll just stick with one piece of fashion advice I heard not too long ago: If you're old enough to have worn it the first time around, you're too old to do it again.

Oddly appropriate

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Explicit instructions

So, last Friday, as part of our half-marathon training, Crazy, SweetPea and I went out for a run in the morning in the sweltering heat. Since we were leaving just before JS would be leaving for work, we made a request: Please leave the garage door open so that we can get back into the building. This was so we wouldn't have to take keys on the run with us.

Well, returning from our run about 40 minutes later, we are happy to find that the garage door is open and we can get in. Trudge up the stairs, desperately wanting a shower (it was about 200% humidity that morning), we approach the third floor and our apartments. Happy and relieved I made it up the stairs, I try to open the door - try being the operative word here. What the?!?! F*CK!! The door is locked!! And I hear Thor barking behind the door - damn the dog for not having opposable thumbs.

I called JS to inform him of the situation (very apologetic). Maintenance was called to let me in... and I waited in Crazy's apartment until they arrived. While we were sitting and chatting, SweetPea brought up a funny point. He says, "Well, he did what you asked him to do. You told him to leave the garage door open. You never said DON'T lock the apartment. He's a guy, he needs explicit instructions..." (btw, SweetPea is a guy too, so don't get all upset thinking this is a guy bashing story) Crazy and I are laughing hysterically. Well, he does have a point, you know.

I'll just remember next time to leave step by step instructions when I go running again.

Run, run as fast as you can

So, I've mentioned that I will be participating in the Rock n' Roll Half Marathon on Labor Day weekend. The training goes... don't know necessarily that it goes well, but it goes. We did 8 miles last weekend (surprised the heck out of me that I was able to do it). We're going to do 10 miles next weekend, I think. Then just some short runs until the race.

I have a problem though. I hate running. I really do. It's boring. It's only somewhat fun if I have my running/training partners with me. Unfortunately, Crazy and SweetPea are away this week. I need them for motivation. Even going to the gym for the treadmill is hard, let alone running outside. And it's been hot (well, not today, but it has been hot). But I need to get out there, or else by the time they get back (and I know they're running where ever they are), I will be back to suck. I do need to take advantage of the nice weather, now that it's here.

I made it to the gym today, but the overall workout pretty much sucked. Maybe gluttony and sloth aren't too far off the mark, after all.

Why can't I ever have a normal round of golf?

It seems something funny always seems to happen when I go play golf. Saturday, SweetPea and I played a round at the Executive 9 at Needwood Golf Course. It was fun. I was hitting much better than I had last week. My short game still sucks. But I was feeling pretty good about the day overall. On the 9th hole, happy that my drive hit the green, I began my lineup for my putt. Last hole, ending on a good note. Hoping for par (it was a long putt). Well, as I was in my backswing, the sprinklers pop up and start spraying us, our clubs and most importantly, the green, in water. We were surrounded. It took quite a long time and a lot of dodging to finish the last hole... Why can't I ever have a normal golf outing?

Ok, this one is just random and funny

For some reason, I thought this one would be a good one to try. The answer is totally random...

Your Boobies' Names Are...

Bambi and Thumper

Boobie Name Generator

Okay, I needed to do this one cuz I'm a geek

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Just wanted to check.

Seriously, how sad is this?

Your Deadly Sins

Gluttony: 60%

Pride: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Envy: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You'll die from a diabetic coma.

How Sinful Are You?

Really. I knew I liked to eat, but not this much. I think I'll take a nap now.

Have we seriously come to this?

When I was young and started school, Kindergarten was a wonderful thing. I remember my teacher, Ms. Heagney (Jay, help me out with the spelling here), being the most fabulous person in the world. She really was the quinticential kindergarten teacher, with the patient, soothing voice, always making people feel smart and making learning fun. Kindergarten was a place where you learned for a little and played for a little, where creativity was encouraged and learning was supposed to be fun. We learned to read and write and count. We learned to share, to resolve arguments, to make friends and develop social skills. We played dress-up. We painted (I always looked forward to my day at the paints). We pretended. We used our imaginations.

Why am I talking about this? Because reading this article disturbed me. When did we get to the point that children need to do math drills at 5 years old? Why would we want to? Now, I don't have kids yet, and I understand that this is a competitive world. But why start this type of thing at 4 or 5 years old? This is the time in children's lives when they are the most fertile in their imaginations, in their sense of fun and play.

More and more, while I'm out, I see children who have absolutely no sense of proper behaviour in public. They don't know how to act around strangers. They don't know how to use their "inside" voice. They throw tantrums. And maybe I'm stretching, but I think part of this has to do with the fact that so much of everything else is structured, they don't know what to do at unstructured times. That's the type of thing that kindergarten is supposed to teach. Fair play, that you don't always get what you want, that you sometimes need to be patient for your turn, that you can occupy your free (play) time with wonderful things going on in your head instead of making a ruckus, that when free time is over, you need to be quiet. If this time is taken up with sitting and doing math drills and reading comprehension worksheets, what's left?

There is so much placed on fulfilling the numbers and quotas that we end up raising little robots. Robots who are ready to explode at any moment. Children should not be bored in school at such a young age. If they get that sense at 5, there is no hope for the future.