So, we're serious about ordering some

Who wants one?

Oh Joy, Oh Rapture!

Down here in Maryland, there is a very large population of Christians, particularly the kind that CawfeeGuy likes to refer to as "Crazy Christers." How do I know? When driving around, I observe many a car with those fishies (which, by the way, I'm particularly fond of the Darwin parody. There are also the stupid bumper stickers which say "Warning: In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned" or something to that effect. For those who don't know what the Rapture is, it's the idea that when the judgement comes, the believers will be taken to Heaven, body and soul.

Anyway, JS and I were chatting yesterday while he was sitting in particularly bad traffic. Or rather, what was supposed to have been bad traffic according to the radio, but it was, in fact, eerily quiet. So, the obvious question was, where the f*uck is everyone? OH MY GOD, the RAPTURE occurred! Well, we were joking that's what happened. Then JS came up with this for a bumper sticker:

I hope this Rapture thing happens soon.
My commute would be so much easier!

Maybe we should get that one made.

There are so many things which disturb me about this...

But one of the things that disturbs me the most is the fact that the doctor made her diagnosis of ADHD and bipolar based mainly on the mother's description of the child's behaviour and behaviour "briefly observed" during office visits.

I could go on a tirade about the fact that people are over-medicating their children. I could go on and on about the fact that the majority of the psychotropic medications out there were never tested on children and that the long term effects of taking such powerful drugs are not known. I could go on and on about how temper tantrums and misbehaviour are part of childhood.

We live in a fast paced world and it's hard to keep up. It's always been hard to keep up with children, and life does not make it any easier these days. But parents are supposed to protect their children. Not give them a pill to keep them quiet when it's inconvenient.

It's easy to say that the parents were not well educated and didn't know any better. But judging from the fact that the mother kept going back for more and more pills... I personally believe there is no doubt she knew what she was doing.

What do you want to do when you grow up?

A couple of months ago, I was invited to give a talk to future biomedical engineers at Hopkins. The talk is for a class called "BME in the Real World" and happens to be tomorrow. I was told I can pretty much talk about whatever it is I wanted, so long as it has to do with how I ended up where I am.

Well, as I was putting together my presentation, it got me thinking about it all. When I was really young, I wanted to be a teacher, because that's the only thing I ever saw women doing back then. My Mom made clothes for a living, and I didn't see myself doing that. As I got older, I wanted to be a doctor - a radiologist to be exact. I knew even then that I would not have a good bedside manner. Then I wanted to cure the common cold, then cancer. Then I went to engineering school for no other reason at the time other than I was really good at math and physics. Then I wanted to go to grad school - partially because I wanted to hold off getting a real job and partially because I didn't feel like I was finished learning yet.

When I entered grad school, I had dreams of finishing in 5 years, doing a post-doc and becoming a professor. Doing great research. Having my name published and becoming a world renowned expert at ... well, something. Then getting the Ph.D. became a means to an end. I no longer wanted to do great research and learned, through my TA experience, that I really do love teaching (hey, we're back to wanting to teach again). That was truly the most satisfying part of my grad school life - watching students learn. But I no longer wanted to jump through the rest of the hoops to get there - it was too unsatisfying, too scary and too depressing.


So I am here. And I love my job and get great satisfaction from it. I have yet to be bored with anything that I do. There are annoyances, as with everything. And there are days I don't want to come. But, for the most part, I like it here. And I will probably continue to like it until I no longer have anything to learn.

A long time ago, I figured out that I am happiest so long as I am learning. If I ever get to the point where I feel I have nothing more to learn, I know I need a change. I knew it was time to wrap up my Ph.D. when I hit that point. I have not yet hit that point here. I'm not sure I will anytime soon. Which is good, I suppose, cuz I like it here.

Happy Birthday MS!

Another year of absolute fabulousness past. Many, many, MANY more to come!

It's a man's world... but does it have to be?

Every once in a while I read an article about the state of women in leadership and I get depressed about how much further we need to go. Whether it's women in high level positions in business, university, professorships, whatever. A few months ago, there was an article in the NY Times which talks about the fact that, even though the female undergraduate population in sciences and engineering are increasing, the number of tenured female professors has remained stagnant. The general frustration that women scientists and engineers feel in trying to get ahead - having to work harder, prove themselves more, but skirting the edge of being called a bitch for being too ambitious.

Today, a new survey shows that men and women still prefer being bossed by a male versus female. The survey found "a bonanza of stereotypes among those polled, with many using the optional comment section to label women 'moody,' 'bitchy,' 'gossipy' and 'emotional.' The most popular term for woman, used 347 times, was "catty.'" I find these descriptors interesting, since when you ask about males who are not fit to lead the words that usually come up are "unprofessional," "unproductive" and the like. At least in my experience.

I do admit that when a male colleague is being whiny or annoying, I usually say he is "acting like a girl." Maybe I should put that away. The funny thing is, at my job, all the way up the chain of command to the Office Director, the managers are all female, save one. And that one, well, he's not what I would call much of a leader in comparison to the others.

It's hard. I happen to be in a career path where, as a female, I have always been the minority. Yet I work in a place where a great majority of the managers are female. What does that say? It's all still progressing. The majority of people surveyed had no preference of male or female. And there is still hope despite the closing comment of the article:

“As liberated as I consider myself to be, I think I’d have a problem taking orders from a woman.”

I need a Hiro...

There are very few shows that I watch on TV. It's pretty obvious that Grey's Anatomy is one of them. One show I haven't talked about is Heroes. CawfeeGuy posted about it a while back.


Tonight, there was a hell of a cliffhanger. A lot of shit was revealed, a whole bunch of answers and a whole shit load more questions. How far into the future did Hiro and Ando teleport? How is Linderman tied into it all? Does he run the "Company?" Is he opposed to them? How much does Peter and Nathan's Mother actually know? Will Mohindar die, or at least quit his whining? Can they all, in fact, save the world?

And there are 6 weeks before another new episodes. SIX FREAKIN' WEEKS. Sorry. Didn't mean to shout.

You spin me right round, baby, right round

So, MS recently posted about all the annoying, over-dramatic histrionics by Meredith on Grey's Anatomy recently. Well, apparently, the "all about me" attitude exists in real life too.


Recently it was announce that Grey's would be spinning off a show centered around Addision Montgomery. Whether or not it would work, we'll have to see. But Addision is such a great character, I have mixed feelings about whether she should stay on the show or have her own. Apparently, the cast of Grey's is none too happy. Particularly Ellen Pompeo, the impossibly skinny actress who plays the impossibly whiny Meredith. I specifically find this funny:

The source adds that “Grey’s” star Ellen Pompeo “seemed particularly peeved because she felt that, as the star, she should have been consulted.”

I never really considered her the "star" of the show. I know the show is called Grey's Anatomy, but the show has such a strong ensemble cast that, depending on the storyline or episode, any one of them could be the "star." I guess I just find all the other characters just so much more interesting.

Gung Hay Fat Choi!

What a difference an hour makes

Previously, I've talked about how lucky I am to be at a job where I can basically make my own hours. It's great. I've been here for nearly two years now, my contract is about to get renewed (all the papers were signed by management, now I need to sign whenever I get them), and I really wouldn't change anything.

I generally get in about 8:30 - 9:00am and leave about 6:00pm or thereabouts everyday. Today I got in at 7:30am, since I have somewhere I need to be at 4:00pm. I didn't think it was a big deal. There was a time, way back when I started that I got in at 7:30am every single day (I was still in grad student mode) and it never bothered me. I was perfectly competent and capable from the time I got in. Today, I'm here and I'm totally useless.

At some point over the past year or so, I discovered I really like sleeping in. Not much, mind you, but just enough that I would get in about an hour later. God, I never realized how much of a difference that hour makes. I am, right now, quite literally falling asleep at my desk. What sucks is that I was asleep by 10:30pm last night, so it's not like I didn't get enough sleep. This sucks.

I'm going on a search for caffiene now... Maybe I'll have more when I'm actually awake. Then again, probably not.

I don't need to prove how big mine is because I don't have one!

So, I've apparently been drawn into a pissing contest. Over the stupidest thing. And I certainly didn't start it and have no intention of continuing it. But I've been drawn into it nonetheless.

Here's the deal. We're migrating email servers, and because of this, everyone has been told to reduce their mailboxes to below 200mb. With some of these people, this will be impossible, but that's not where I'm going. Anyway, during our Division meeting yesterday, we were chatting about ways of reducing, saving, downsizing, etc. At a certain point, MBE (the director) looks for Patsy (he's supposed to be our IT point of contact), and asks a couple of questions. Then she looks to me (who has been an unofficial point of contact for several specific people in the Division, including MBE) and asks me a few questions about setting up local folders and whatnot (something I did for her a long time ago). After a little bit of conversation, she asks me to research the problem further and to have a chat with our office IT person and get back to the Division. Now, during the entire time of our conversation, Patsy is sitting behind MBE kind of grumbling to himself - I'm guessing he was upset that I was asked to do something he technically was in charge of.

Anyway, I shoot off an email to the IT manager for the office and await a response. Before I get a chance to talk to the IT manager, Patsy has sent an email to the Division on the subject about which I was asked to research. No sooner had I read his email (and was laughing my ass off since it was clear what he was trying to do), did I get an email from the IT manager to come have a chat. To make a long story short, everything that Patsy had just advised everyone to do, the IT manager said was not advised (unless there was no choice) for a variety of reasons. As a result, I had to send an amendment to his email, explaining everything I had just spoken to our IT manager about.

I had a feeling that it would not end there. And I was right. When I got in this morning, there was another email in my inbox from Patsy. All I could do was laugh. It basically gave everyone advice about reducing their mailbox size (which I had briefly outlined in my email) and a reiteration of what the IT manager had stated and what I had already sent in the previous email:

"Having said all of that, local folders are still okay, but it should be stressed not to move then entire contents of your email over to it. If you’re close to 200MB, you could set up a local folder and move some info into it for items that you may not want lost during email migration, etc., but please refrain from moving too much. As J------ stressed, IT folks are worried that users will back up their entire inbox onto a local folder.." (J----- is the IT manager)

The reason why I find this hilarious is that everything that was in his email was already in mine, but written in a tone which made it seem like it was either new or insightful because he wrote it. The other reason is because, when I amended Patsy's email with the correct information, I responded to it, keeping the original copy attached so that people would know what I was referring to. His email this morning had all other previous responses deleted.

I have no intention of continuing this idiocy. I didn't realize I was dealing with a 5 year old. I thought this kind of shit stopped in junior high. Why is it necessary for a 28 year old man to jump up and down, waving his hands screaming, "Look at me! I can do it better!!"?

Wedding dress follies

Before anyone goes nuts - no I am not engaged. However, Crazy and SweetPea are. So Nancy and I went dress shopping with Crazy today. She's very low maintenance, so it's really come to no surprise that she's found her dress and ordered it. What's funny is how the decision on the dress came to be.

After trying on 2 dresses (the second of which we thought would be the one), she came out in a beautiful, sparkly number, which Crazy admittedly said looked much better out than in the dressing room. Anyway, we were trying to decide between the sparkly one and the second dress. Well, in the store was another bride with her family. The grandpa asked if we wanted a male opinion. We said yes. He very bluntly said that when she came out in the sparkly dress, "That turned me on!" At which point we all start laughing. He went on to describe why he liked it: it's about the placement of said sparkles - not too much througout the dress, but enough in the right places. He then leans over to Nancy and me and says, "In the end all men are titty men."

No shit.

Exercise in futility

Okay, so last year, I decided that, you know, in order to torture myself, I would start running. Not only just running, but running a half-marathon. And, in the end, I was really happy I did it. It was a lot of fun, despite the chronic knee pain incurred.

I always said that I would not live my life avoiding the things I hate or fear. So, today began the new quest (not that I've given up running - I need to work up to it again because of my knee). Swimming, which is supposed to be better for the knee. And it is apparently worse for everything else...

Let me explain. I am a BAD swimmer. It's very simple. I did not grow up with ready access to a pool. I probably didn't even really learn how to swim until I was about 10. I never learned how to breathe properly, blow bubbles, anything. People keep telling me that blowing bubbles is simple. Not so much for me. Anytime I've tried, my immediate inclination is to breathe in, and then there's me flailing and coughing up water. So, for me "swimming" is pretty much bobbing around in the water under the hot sunshine of summer, immediately followed by sunning poolside.

Today, Crazy and Sweetpea invited me to go to the community pool with them and the kids. Should be fun. Crazy and Sweetpea have decided that they are going to do a sprint distance triathalon (not me, thank you very much), so they are swim training. While I'm not doing the triathalon, I do want to at least try to become a better swimmer.

Today, it was all about trying not to sink. My head bobbing atop the surface of the water while, beneath, my legs slowly finding their way to the pool bottom (the lap pool is only 3-5 feet deep). By lap number 3, halfway across the pool, my feet will have found the pool bottom and I need to stand up and kick off again. I made it back and forth across the pool 10 times (I won't actually call them laps since that would be an insult to actual swimmers). By the end of 20 minutes, I wanted to die - my head felt like it was about to explode and my legs felt like they were 300 pounds. Now my shoulder and arms are beginning to ache. I know that I'm going to be paying for this tomorrow morning. And, again, as with the running, I want to go back for more pain.

There seriously must me something wrong with me.

I'm so freakin' tired

Okay. So I couldn't drag my ass out of bed until almost 8:30 this morning. And I'm about ready to fall asleep at my desk, and it's not even 11 o'clock (forget the fact that I got in at 9:45). This sucks. I see an unproductive day ahead of me.

Things one should never overhear while eating lunch

"No, I didn't drink yellow coffee... oh, wait. There was that time I drank my own urine..."

Get (red)

So, I wanted a new cell phone since my old one was dying and I wanted a new toy. I was debating with JS over what phone I should buy... particularly because I really don't use all the web stuff and all. But, in the end, JS bought me a phone I really love - for more reasons than just because it's new and shiny (which is usually reason enough).


I got the Motorola (red) Razr. I'd never been a huge fan of Motorola products. This one, however, is attached to a good cause. Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard about the (red) project. It's the project started by Bono and Bobby Shriver in support of The Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. Part of the proceeds of every (red) product sale goes to The Global Fund.

The fact that it's a (red) product made me more apt to buy it. I think that's going to be the case in the near future for a lot of things. I'm probably going to get the (red) Bluetooth headset to use with this phone. The whole point of the (red) project is to allow people to help contribute to The Global Fund through buying products they already use. Well, it's definitely worked on me.

... and not so fresh

Well... I spent the majority of yesterday at home in the fetal position. Why? Because I spent the previous night praying to the porcelain god. Was I drunk? Was I hung-over? God I wish I was. Unfortunately, neither was the case. I had a bug in my tummy. One that came roaring in at about 2am the night before and finally ceased at about 10am. I never realized that my body could be in so much pain all at once.

At the very least, I can be thankful that nothing began until after the drive back from MS's place, or JS would not have been a happy camper in the car (nor I, as a matter of fact). I'm much better today, but not 100%. I'm feeling rather... empty. I know. TMI.

Starting the New Year fresh

There are certain times when a conversation is so funny, that there is no other way to describe it except to just give a transcript. So, here is the "Happy New Year" conversation I had with my Dad at approximately 12:02am on New Year's Day:

N'il: Happy New Year!
Dad: Happy New Year, how are you?
N: Good. Were you asleep?
D: No, I was watching TV.
N: Good. How are you feeling?
D: Not bad. Not bad.
N: Well, that's good.
D: I just moved my bowels.
N: Really?! Well, that's good. You're starting the New Year off fresh.
D: Yeah, I moved them 4 times today. I did just before you called.
N: Well, that's really great Dad. As I said, you're starting the year fresh.
D: Yes, well...
N: I'll give you a call later this week, okay?
D: Okay. Have a good night.
N: Good night, Dad.

I guess when you're nearly 81, there are some things which are just much more exciting than watching the ball drop.

So, I took the week off

And this is what happens when I am left to my own devices when I have literally nothing else to do...


I received this puzzle for my birthday from Jay and Ang. I opened it yesterday thinking, "Well, I'll get the border done and work on it the rest of the week." I've never finished a puzzle by myself before (okay, JS placed one piece of this one). And things were going so well... well, I got a bit OCD and NEEDED to finish it. I started at around 3pm. I finished at about 1am.

The puzzle is 1026 pieces... and it's the history of chocolate.

Well, somebody's got a case of the Mondays

Yeah... that's today. I really feel that way. I am dealing with a Lumburgh at the moment. In my office. I have a document that just keeps getting sent back for "just one more thing." I have buy-in from all the people that matter that my document should not be approved - from the management above my Lumburgh. I have the emails to prove it. But I need to document it in the review - so that the people, who already approved it, know that I already talked to them. How does that make any sense? Really?

And on top of that, the Idiot is in charge this week. This is going to be a long week...