We rounded out our seven in the office not too long ago:
Evil (me), Crazy (LS), Bitter, Jaded, Cynical, Pissed and Clueless
Friday, June 30, 2006
Because I'm evil...
Well, maybe not evil in this particular case, but sometimes people just set themselves up so well, I just can't let an opportunity pass. This is a transcript of a conversation I had with the one who pissed me off last week:
Him: So what are you reading there?
Me: A resume.
Him: You applying somewhere?
Me: No, someone else’s resume.
Him: Oh, okay. Someone else’s fluff.
Me: Yeah, blah blah blah. It’s funny to see the kind of fluff people write.
Him: Yeah, I wonder what mine would be like.
Me: (as I am walking away) Somehow, I don’t think that fluff is your weak point…
Him: (calling out of office) Weak point? That’s not nice.
Me: *smile and laugh*
The other than really setting himself up like that, the reason why it was funny was because it took him about a second too long to realize that he had just been insulted.
Him: So what are you reading there?
Me: A resume.
Him: You applying somewhere?
Me: No, someone else’s resume.
Him: Oh, okay. Someone else’s fluff.
Me: Yeah, blah blah blah. It’s funny to see the kind of fluff people write.
Him: Yeah, I wonder what mine would be like.
Me: (as I am walking away) Somehow, I don’t think that fluff is your weak point…
Him: (calling out of office) Weak point? That’s not nice.
Me: *smile and laugh*
The other than really setting himself up like that, the reason why it was funny was because it took him about a second too long to realize that he had just been insulted.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
My smile of the day
I read the news constantly. I have an order every day, a few times a day, when I need a break from my work. CNN, NY Times, MSNBC, and Slate. In that order. I skim headlines, see if anything peaks my interest, read a few articles, move on to the next site.
During my lunch hour cycle, I came across this book review. A book review by a 6 year old. It is probably the funniest thing I've read in a while. This kid is very astute and observant, but definitely a kid. My favorite quote is for a book called, "Why Do Dogs Have Wet Noses?" --
I'm not patient, and this book is so big. I bet that whoever wrote this book is a scientist because they know so much about dogs... I was bored but I liked learning about dogs. I think that's all of my opinion.
Freakin' hilarious.
During my lunch hour cycle, I came across this book review. A book review by a 6 year old. It is probably the funniest thing I've read in a while. This kid is very astute and observant, but definitely a kid. My favorite quote is for a book called, "Why Do Dogs Have Wet Noses?" --
I'm not patient, and this book is so big. I bet that whoever wrote this book is a scientist because they know so much about dogs... I was bored but I liked learning about dogs. I think that's all of my opinion.
Freakin' hilarious.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Rules of personal behaviour
Okay, I'm not a list maker. But this is a list that's been bouncing around my head for the past few days. Probably because of everything that has happened of late, I feel the need to put things down in writing. This is not me preaching to anyone. These are the rules I have for me.
So, here are my rules of personal behaviour - the rules which I have been trying to follow in my everyday life:
- Treat everyone with kindness and respect - including yourself.
- Embrace love - don't fear it.
- Be honest with yourself and others.
- Don't allow yourself to be a doormat.
- If it seems like everyone is against you, take a good hard look at yourself.
- Never expect anyone do to anything that you would not do yourself (except killing bugs).
- Laugh at yourself - don't take yourself too seriously.
- Professionalism does not mean you can't have fun, but don't have fun at the expense of professionalism.
- Do not go through life avoiding the things you hate or fear.
- Don't sweat the small stuff, but do the little things to make yourself happy every day.
- Don't whine or complain about a situation if you are not willing to do something to fix it.
Most everything on the list is an extension or elaboration of the first three rules. But it is necessary for me to make some things more specific, I guess. This list is by no means finished, either. I'm going to continue to add to it should I think of anything. But one of the main things for me is to not follow one rule at the expense of another. And I'm trying. And I'm sure I will fail at times. But I'm trying.
Having it in print will allow me to come back and read it whenever I need a reminder or a kick in the ass.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
On giggly women
So, the episode the other day concerning my co-worker got me thinking about something very specific. We all laugh. I happen to laugh a lot and, much of the time, quite loudly. But there is a subset of women whom I cannot understand or abide. And they are giggly women. More annoying is a subset of that subset: giggly Asian women. I'll get to the sub-subset in a moment.
When I say giggly women, I don't mean the ones, who when they laugh, do so quietly or are reserved. Or when one "gets the giggles," which happens occasionally. I am talking about those women who seem to be in a constant state of being just about to giggle when you talk to them. The ones who will giggle at any inane joke that a guy they are interested in (and sometimes not interested in) makes. The ones who, when they get around the other giggly women, giggle incessantly to the point where I want to go over there and smack them.
Why such vitriol? I think part of it has to do with the fact that I chose a career path which is male dominated. When women are the minority, whether there is a need or not, there is a tendency to try to be more serious, to show that we are serious. Over-professionalism, I guess. And I've worked with and encountered males who have literally said, "I don't trust attractive women in science," and who do not take an opinion seriously when coming from a woman but will when coming from a man. And it's made me a little cynical and jaded on that front. I want to be taken seriously, by everyone. I want to be perceived as intelligent from the moment I open my mouth. And I feel that the giggly women, no matter how intelligent they are, present a really silly front, and I think it's bad for all women. Not only do I think it doesn't allow a step forward, I think it sometimes causes a step back.
So, the sub-subset of giggly Asian women. What's my beef with them? They propagate a stereotype which I just hate. A stereotype with which I try very hard not to be associated. The Hello Kitty toting, really awful J-pop listening, feet shuffling, everything they own needing to be cute, traveling in packs, life is all about being cute women. The Iron Chef actress/commentator, "Teehee, this tastes like spring," chick. The ones who seem to have stopped maturing at the age of 12. And I know that they exist and will always be out there and that stereotypes come from somewhere. I just want it to stop. Stop trying to be all cutesy and demure. It's just irritating.
Am I being fair? Probably not. And not all giggly women are airheads. But I think that, if you are in that constant state of giggle-dom, and laughing increases airflow to the body (unless it's uncontrollable, then you just hyperventilate), then it's reasonable to conclude that the majority of giggly women have a bit more air in their heads than average.
**this also marks my 100th post to this blog **
When I say giggly women, I don't mean the ones, who when they laugh, do so quietly or are reserved. Or when one "gets the giggles," which happens occasionally. I am talking about those women who seem to be in a constant state of being just about to giggle when you talk to them. The ones who will giggle at any inane joke that a guy they are interested in (and sometimes not interested in) makes. The ones who, when they get around the other giggly women, giggle incessantly to the point where I want to go over there and smack them.
Why such vitriol? I think part of it has to do with the fact that I chose a career path which is male dominated. When women are the minority, whether there is a need or not, there is a tendency to try to be more serious, to show that we are serious. Over-professionalism, I guess. And I've worked with and encountered males who have literally said, "I don't trust attractive women in science," and who do not take an opinion seriously when coming from a woman but will when coming from a man. And it's made me a little cynical and jaded on that front. I want to be taken seriously, by everyone. I want to be perceived as intelligent from the moment I open my mouth. And I feel that the giggly women, no matter how intelligent they are, present a really silly front, and I think it's bad for all women. Not only do I think it doesn't allow a step forward, I think it sometimes causes a step back.
So, the sub-subset of giggly Asian women. What's my beef with them? They propagate a stereotype which I just hate. A stereotype with which I try very hard not to be associated. The Hello Kitty toting, really awful J-pop listening, feet shuffling, everything they own needing to be cute, traveling in packs, life is all about being cute women. The Iron Chef actress/commentator, "Teehee, this tastes like spring," chick. The ones who seem to have stopped maturing at the age of 12. And I know that they exist and will always be out there and that stereotypes come from somewhere. I just want it to stop. Stop trying to be all cutesy and demure. It's just irritating.
Am I being fair? Probably not. And not all giggly women are airheads. But I think that, if you are in that constant state of giggle-dom, and laughing increases airflow to the body (unless it's uncontrollable, then you just hyperventilate), then it's reasonable to conclude that the majority of giggly women have a bit more air in their heads than average.
**this also marks my 100th post to this blog **
Monday, June 19, 2006
Random and freaky
So, while at dim sum yesterday, sitting and having conversation with TC, PC and JS, I see a woman bee-lining toward me, smile on her face. Someone from grad school whom I haven't seen in years. Totally random to be in the same restaurant and being seated at tables next to each other. So, cool. She gave me her card and we have a pending brunch date.
Because of this encounter, I began thinking of people with whom I had not spoken or emailed in a while. About an hour or so ago, I thought of someone, also from grad school, and was trying to remember her email address. About 15 minutes ago, I got an email from her, simply asking what's up. That's a little freaky... okay, a little more than a little freaky.
Maybe I should start thinking about winning the lottery or something and it'll happen.
Because of this encounter, I began thinking of people with whom I had not spoken or emailed in a while. About an hour or so ago, I thought of someone, also from grad school, and was trying to remember her email address. About 15 minutes ago, I got an email from her, simply asking what's up. That's a little freaky... okay, a little more than a little freaky.
Maybe I should start thinking about winning the lottery or something and it'll happen.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Livid doesn't even BEGIN to describe it
I get last minute work all the time. It's annoying. But mistakes are made, things are overlooked and as a result assignments are received late. So, I grumble, but I deal. Do my work, as best as I can, trying not to compromise quality just because I'm a little rushed.
Today, I am asked to review part of a file. Okay, it's a file for a standard device. And why he thought that a chemistry review wasn't needed for this one, when one is necessary for every file of this device type - well, I'll attribute it to a brain fart or just plain stupidity.
Me: When is the file due?
Him: Out on Wednesday.
Me: When do you need it?
Him: I was hoping to get it done by today or tomorrow morning. I have to leave at 1pm tomorrow and won't be here Monday or Tuesday.
Me: In other words today.
Him: If there isn't much, don't bother writing anything up.
Well, there was much. A full review was necessary. These reviews usually have about a 2 week timeline because of other work and because of thoroughness' sake. So, I have, essentially, an afternoon. I drop the rest of my work to do it. It sucks, but it needs to be done. Nothing I have is due tomorrow. And it's the right thing to do and I don't want him to get stuck. It's happened to me before, so I get it.
So, I'm working my ass off all afternoon. Trying to get the review done for him. So he doesn't get in trouble. Because it's the right thing to do. We all have brain farts. It's an honest mistake. An oversight. Happens to all of us. I ask how long he'll be sticking around. He says that he wants to try to get it done, so whenever it is.
I was fine with it... Until about 5:45pm. When I hear - giggling. Girl giggling. Girlfriend giggling. What the FUCK?!? I am here working my ass off so that he can get the file in on time. Doing him a favor. Dropping all my other work because he asked, because it was the right thing to do, because I have a work ethic. And he's goofing off in his office with his girlfriend. I ask again: what the fuck?
I am beyond livid. Why in the world am I bothering to work on this so hard when he apparently is not putting in as much effort on the rest of the file to get it finished? It's his damn file. Livid. Angry to the point of shaking. LS advises me, since he's obviously not working on it, I should just close up and leave. Work on it tomorrow. Tell him tomorrow how what he did was unprofessional - asking me to do the work, to do him a favor, while he's goofing off.
So I finish the thought I was typing and am getting ready to go home. And then he appears in my door to say good night.
Me: Leave
Him: What?
Me: Leave now. I am livid beyond description with you and I can't talk to you now. I'll talk to you about it tomorrow. Leave.
He doesn't leave. Asks me what's up. If it's something we can talk about now. He won't leave. Fine. Come in. Close the door. And I lay into him. I've been working my ass off because he asked for a favor. Because he said he wanted to get the file done today. And he's in his office giggling and goofing with his girlfriend. He tries to claim that he was doing his work. That I had no idea what was going on in his office. Literally I said, and I did this in my best annoyingly cutesy girlie voice: Teeheehee. You're so funny. Heehee. *smirk* You're crazy. Then seriously: THAT is not work. He had nothing to say about that.
Let the backpedaling begin!! He says he knows I've been working my ass off for him, to help him get the file done. He knows that I've dropped everything. If I can't get it done today or tomorrow, get it to him by next week and he'll deal with the consequences. He doesn't want it to look like the file is late because of me and he'll deal with it. Welcome to the world where we completely miss the point! AND in NO universe would the lateness of this file be because of me.
Me: You don't understand this. And you probably won't understand this until you get screwed. But perception has a lot to do with how people see you, what they think of you. What you present. No, I don't know exactly what's going on in your office. But I know what I heard, and it wasn't work. It's the impression I got. And I'm your friend. But it makes me wonder why I'm working my ass off when you're not. And a lot of what I'm feeling and how angry I am has to do with how much I invested in this today. How much work I've done. To save your ass.
Him: I know you've been working on it. I saw that you've only been working on it. I don't know how to say it that can show you how strongly I know (note: what the hell does that even mean??). I wish there was something I could say, but I don't know what.
Me: There is nothing you can say right now to make this any better. Leave. She's waiting for you. We will talk about this more tomorrow.
Him: (while opening the door) I really wish I knew what I could say.
Me: Leave.
I rarely ever get this angry. At these times, I try to step back. Ask myself: Am I overreacting? Am I being unfair? Is this really not a big deal? What annoys me is that he doesn't get it. He has no clue, none whatsoever, why what he did was unprofessional. Why it pissed me off. If he had just left, I would not have gotten angry. I understand that he's already been there for 12 hours. I told him this. Him going home is not the point. The point is that he gave the impression that he was goofing off while I was working hard on something he gave me. Am I overreacting? Maybe. But I don't feel unjustified.
*If anyone has ever seen Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, I basically felt like Harold did when he gets the work dumped on him to finish while his boss went out to party.
Today, I am asked to review part of a file. Okay, it's a file for a standard device. And why he thought that a chemistry review wasn't needed for this one, when one is necessary for every file of this device type - well, I'll attribute it to a brain fart or just plain stupidity.
Me: When is the file due?
Him: Out on Wednesday.
Me: When do you need it?
Him: I was hoping to get it done by today or tomorrow morning. I have to leave at 1pm tomorrow and won't be here Monday or Tuesday.
Me: In other words today.
Him: If there isn't much, don't bother writing anything up.
Well, there was much. A full review was necessary. These reviews usually have about a 2 week timeline because of other work and because of thoroughness' sake. So, I have, essentially, an afternoon. I drop the rest of my work to do it. It sucks, but it needs to be done. Nothing I have is due tomorrow. And it's the right thing to do and I don't want him to get stuck. It's happened to me before, so I get it.
So, I'm working my ass off all afternoon. Trying to get the review done for him. So he doesn't get in trouble. Because it's the right thing to do. We all have brain farts. It's an honest mistake. An oversight. Happens to all of us. I ask how long he'll be sticking around. He says that he wants to try to get it done, so whenever it is.
I was fine with it... Until about 5:45pm. When I hear - giggling. Girl giggling. Girlfriend giggling. What the FUCK?!? I am here working my ass off so that he can get the file in on time. Doing him a favor. Dropping all my other work because he asked, because it was the right thing to do, because I have a work ethic. And he's goofing off in his office with his girlfriend. I ask again: what the fuck?
I am beyond livid. Why in the world am I bothering to work on this so hard when he apparently is not putting in as much effort on the rest of the file to get it finished? It's his damn file. Livid. Angry to the point of shaking. LS advises me, since he's obviously not working on it, I should just close up and leave. Work on it tomorrow. Tell him tomorrow how what he did was unprofessional - asking me to do the work, to do him a favor, while he's goofing off.
So I finish the thought I was typing and am getting ready to go home. And then he appears in my door to say good night.
Me: Leave
Him: What?
Me: Leave now. I am livid beyond description with you and I can't talk to you now. I'll talk to you about it tomorrow. Leave.
He doesn't leave. Asks me what's up. If it's something we can talk about now. He won't leave. Fine. Come in. Close the door. And I lay into him. I've been working my ass off because he asked for a favor. Because he said he wanted to get the file done today. And he's in his office giggling and goofing with his girlfriend. He tries to claim that he was doing his work. That I had no idea what was going on in his office. Literally I said, and I did this in my best annoyingly cutesy girlie voice: Teeheehee. You're so funny. Heehee. *smirk* You're crazy. Then seriously: THAT is not work. He had nothing to say about that.
Let the backpedaling begin!! He says he knows I've been working my ass off for him, to help him get the file done. He knows that I've dropped everything. If I can't get it done today or tomorrow, get it to him by next week and he'll deal with the consequences. He doesn't want it to look like the file is late because of me and he'll deal with it. Welcome to the world where we completely miss the point! AND in NO universe would the lateness of this file be because of me.
Me: You don't understand this. And you probably won't understand this until you get screwed. But perception has a lot to do with how people see you, what they think of you. What you present. No, I don't know exactly what's going on in your office. But I know what I heard, and it wasn't work. It's the impression I got. And I'm your friend. But it makes me wonder why I'm working my ass off when you're not. And a lot of what I'm feeling and how angry I am has to do with how much I invested in this today. How much work I've done. To save your ass.
Him: I know you've been working on it. I saw that you've only been working on it. I don't know how to say it that can show you how strongly I know (note: what the hell does that even mean??). I wish there was something I could say, but I don't know what.
Me: There is nothing you can say right now to make this any better. Leave. She's waiting for you. We will talk about this more tomorrow.
Him: (while opening the door) I really wish I knew what I could say.
Me: Leave.
I rarely ever get this angry. At these times, I try to step back. Ask myself: Am I overreacting? Am I being unfair? Is this really not a big deal? What annoys me is that he doesn't get it. He has no clue, none whatsoever, why what he did was unprofessional. Why it pissed me off. If he had just left, I would not have gotten angry. I understand that he's already been there for 12 hours. I told him this. Him going home is not the point. The point is that he gave the impression that he was goofing off while I was working hard on something he gave me. Am I overreacting? Maybe. But I don't feel unjustified.
*If anyone has ever seen Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, I basically felt like Harold did when he gets the work dumped on him to finish while his boss went out to party.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
I knew I didn't want to be at work this week when...
... I sat down at my desk this morning, was relieved/annoyed it was Thursday, only to realize it was Tuesday.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Monday, June 12, 2006
For the love of TiVo
I love our TiVo. Why? I hate watching commercials. I want to watch my programs when I feel like it - I don't think I watched a single episode of Grey's Anatomy on Sunday. And I know I never saw InuYasha at midnight on Tuesday.
But the most recent reason why I love TiVo? The NPR podcasts. I love the radio show Wait Wait - Don't Tell Me. And now TiVo has podcasts of the episode from the previous few weeks. Which is great, because I forget to turn on the radio at 11am on Saturdays to listen. But there are a whole bunch of other catagories of podcasts, not just NPR.
Now if only they would podcast Car Talk...
But the most recent reason why I love TiVo? The NPR podcasts. I love the radio show Wait Wait - Don't Tell Me. And now TiVo has podcasts of the episode from the previous few weeks. Which is great, because I forget to turn on the radio at 11am on Saturdays to listen. But there are a whole bunch of other catagories of podcasts, not just NPR.
Now if only they would podcast Car Talk...
Friday, June 09, 2006
Auto love
It's always funny when I read things in articles that I've said. Whenever someone gets a new car, or has an otherwise really fun car, I always ask what the car's name is. Half the time I get an answer, the other half I get a perplexed look. And I have always said that there are two categories of people: ones who name their cars (and other inanimate objects) and ones who don't. So it was funny when I began this article and read that very same quote. I always knew other people felt this way.
Well, I'm a car namer (for those who don't already know, the first car was Eva and the current one Ian). As is JS. And we name all sorts of objects - JS settled on Samantha for his Australian accented GPS. Most people I know are namers - perhaps not of the car, but of objects. And pretty much anything which appears to have some sort of intelligence, will at least get a sex assignment.
So, the question is, what category are you in?
Well, I'm a car namer (for those who don't already know, the first car was Eva and the current one Ian). As is JS. And we name all sorts of objects - JS settled on Samantha for his Australian accented GPS. Most people I know are namers - perhaps not of the car, but of objects. And pretty much anything which appears to have some sort of intelligence, will at least get a sex assignment.
So, the question is, what category are you in?
Bug in a bonnet
I was told something yesterday that really made my day. Apparently, I have made myself a bug up the butt of one of my companies. Why does this make me happy? This is why:
DF (team leader for particular document): I spoke to name deleted before, and she asked how the review was coming.
Me: I'm working on it.
DF: I told her you were working on it. I told her not to worry because you were good. And she said,'too good.'
*big smile from me*
This gives me great joy. One of the perks of this job is being able to tell big companies what to do. And another is to help the little guy along. But it gives me great pleasure to know that company X knows not to try and bullshit me.
DF (team leader for particular document): I spoke to name deleted before, and she asked how the review was coming.
Me: I'm working on it.
DF: I told her you were working on it. I told her not to worry because you were good. And she said,'too good.'
*big smile from me*
This gives me great joy. One of the perks of this job is being able to tell big companies what to do. And another is to help the little guy along. But it gives me great pleasure to know that company X knows not to try and bullshit me.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Back from hiatus (i.e. the Motherland)
I love and hate going to New York. Mostly, I love it. Love seeing my family. Love seeing my friends. Love being in the old neighborhood. Love being among "my people," so to speak. Especially love the food.
Hate sleeping on the couch. Yeah, that whole crashing on the couch thing lost its appeal when the college years drifted further and further away. Why am I sleeping on the couch? My Dad no longer lives in my childhood home. He downgraded a little more than a year ago to a smaller place, because he really couldn't and didn't need to maintain the house anymore. But that also meant that he now has just enough space to be comfortable. Add one - and well, that one is uncomfortable, i.e. the couch.
I can take it for a weekend. In fact, I really don't mind it for a weekend. A week is another story. That and the no privacy remind me that, although New York City is always where I say I am "from" and I call going "home" (small H), I really no longer have a "Home" (capital H) there anymore. "Home" (capital H) is here, where I live, in Maryland, with JS and Thor. And even though I moved out of my childhood home over 10 years ago (with a brief 9 month return my final year of college), it wasn't really until early last year, when that house was sold, that I felt that final tie severed - that the definition of "Home" became more definite instead of split.
So, I've noticed that I have been saying, "I'm going to visit my Dad," or "I'm going to New York," when previously I would say, "I'm going home to see my Dad," or some such thing like that. After a week on the couch, I was really very happy to be Home, in my own bed.
Addendum: In thinking about it, the sale of my childhood home also coincided with the end of my student career. Entering the "real world" at that same time, I'm sure, contributed to that change in the "Home" status in my mind.
Hate sleeping on the couch. Yeah, that whole crashing on the couch thing lost its appeal when the college years drifted further and further away. Why am I sleeping on the couch? My Dad no longer lives in my childhood home. He downgraded a little more than a year ago to a smaller place, because he really couldn't and didn't need to maintain the house anymore. But that also meant that he now has just enough space to be comfortable. Add one - and well, that one is uncomfortable, i.e. the couch.
I can take it for a weekend. In fact, I really don't mind it for a weekend. A week is another story. That and the no privacy remind me that, although New York City is always where I say I am "from" and I call going "home" (small H), I really no longer have a "Home" (capital H) there anymore. "Home" (capital H) is here, where I live, in Maryland, with JS and Thor. And even though I moved out of my childhood home over 10 years ago (with a brief 9 month return my final year of college), it wasn't really until early last year, when that house was sold, that I felt that final tie severed - that the definition of "Home" became more definite instead of split.
So, I've noticed that I have been saying, "I'm going to visit my Dad," or "I'm going to New York," when previously I would say, "I'm going home to see my Dad," or some such thing like that. After a week on the couch, I was really very happy to be Home, in my own bed.
Addendum: In thinking about it, the sale of my childhood home also coincided with the end of my student career. Entering the "real world" at that same time, I'm sure, contributed to that change in the "Home" status in my mind.
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