On friendships, revisited

I may have made a post or two about the subject of friendships, but I feel the need to revisit the subject. I am a lucky person because of the friendships that I have. I feel fortunate that I have friends from different stages of my life, who I know will always be there for me as much as I for them. I never made friends easily. I've always been a little shy (all of you stop laughing right now!) and guarded. I don't trust easily and it takes a little while for me to open up. So when I do, it means a lot. On the other side of that, when the trust is broken, it's very hard to mend. I can be very forgiving, but I also become cautious.

I give people chances to show that, perhaps, whatever happened, whatever they said, was an isolated thing. I have no problems saying that I am at fault for something, so I generally (and naively) believe that others would be the same. I have come to learn over time that this is definitely not true. It takes a self-reflective person to admit that s/he may be at fault. To see that there are consequences, however intentional or unintentional, to their actions. That when asked about it, that person can look within him/herself, honestly, and see things from another point of view, rather than coming up with excuses or saying such things as, "I'm sorry that you feel that way but..." I hear something like that, hear the excuses and can see more clearly that person's character. People generally become defensive when they have something to hide, particularly when they are not being attacked.

I give chances, but only for so long. A person can disappoint me only so many times before I give up, resign to the fact that what s/he is showing is the reality, and not what was there before. People can change. I truly believe that. But it'll take a while for me to believe that the changes are real. One cannot be friends with someone with whom they lack respect and trust. Nothing can move forward otherwise.

So I feel blessed for the friends I have, for the ones who have always been there and I know will always be. I grieve for those who I thought were friends, but over time revealed their true selves. But it lets me know, reminds me again, of what true friendship really is. And that I am truly fortunate that it exists in my life. That we all continue our journeys knowing that we will have each other for support.

Running on empty

So, this past Sunday was the Pikes Peak 10K Run, of which I had previously spoken. I didn't do too bad. I was hoping to finish it at a 10 minute/mile pace. My official results were:

1:04:39 (gun time); 1:01:06 (actual time); 9:50 (pace)

so better than I was shooting for.

Race day is such a strange thing. I've only run a couple of races. And each time, the race is the "longest distance I have ever run before," and this race was no different. I had never run more than 5 miles (we went for a 5 1/2 mile run a couple of weeks ago... I was pretty much out of gas at mile 5, and had to walk a bit at a couple of points). So the fact that I was running continuously until after mile 5 was an accomplishment in and of itself. Had my knee (damn knee) not gone out, I would have continued. But, alas, my knee did give out and I has to run/walk the last mile. But no matter. I still made pace and that makes me happy.

It gives me more confidence for the Half-marathon in September. A few more months to double the distance to, again, the "longest distance" I had ever run. There is still time. And definitely still will.

I will say one thing, and JS will attest to this: I was really out of it the rest on the day on Sunday. Electrolyte balance off or something. And have been kind of off ever since. So, I guess my body needs a re-adjustment period. Gives me a good excuse for an afternoon nap...

The rules of whining

Everyone whines or complains at some point or another for whatever reason, particularly at work. But at a certain point, if one is whining or complaining about the same thing constantly, it gets very tiresome. There are certain people who believe that everyone is out to get them. That they deserve more respect or trust or responsibility. And whine and whine that they never get it. Funny thing is, the thought never crosses their mind that, if the problem is with everyone else, perhaps they should just look in the mirror.

Which brings us to the LS's rules of whining:

1. You are allowed to whine/complain about something a couple of times. After which point, if you are unwilling to do anything to fix it, shut the hell up and deal.

2. It's not all about you. (obviously addressed to whomever is whining)

I feel the need to smack some people with whom I work with a 2x4 that has these rules engraved on it. Granted, I like nearly everyone I work with, I really do. But there are a certain few who always blame their misfortunes on other people, and it wears very thin. Particularly those who will complain then do absolutely nothing about it except to complain more. I experience this now as much as I did during grad school. I guess I was hoping that people grow out of such things. That was naive, I know. There are certain things that never change, that one will experience in all stages of life. It's life, and I have to shut up and deal with it.

*Take this as my one whine about whiners. I'll shut up now.

Running scared

... or running in pain, depending on how you look at it. I think I have mentioned that I'm running a half-marathon over Labor Day weekend. LS convinced me by saying, "Come on, it's only 13 miles." Only 13 miles she says. Sometimes I dread this decision. But I have already said I would do it, I've paid the registration, and I've never done it before, so why not? Never mind that I've never run more than 5 miles at any one given time in my life... and, did I mention - I hate running. But as I've always said: I can't spend my life avoiding all of the things I hate. Sometimes you have to, as the old Nike tag line used to say, Just Do It.

So we went running last night. For 45 minutes. So a little over 4 miles or so, assuming a 10 minute mile pace, which is just about average for me. Funny thing is, my limiting factor while running is not how bad a shape I'm in - I'm actually fine. My knee sucks. I'll be going along just fine, breathing well, not terribly tired. But my knee will be screaming at me to stop. This happened at about 1.5 to 2 miles. Walk it out a little, begin running again. It's annoying, and totally dependent on the day. If it's a little moist - great for the knee. Too dry, too cold - sucky. Last night, I felt was great running weather. Relatively cool, not too moist, not too dry, good air to breathe. Yet my knee sucked.

But I have to push on. And I'll only quit if the pain is truly unbearable. We have the Pikes Peak 10K in 2 weeks. A little over 6 miles. A little over an hour of running. The goal? Finish with enough energy to have popovers at Normandie Farms after the race. I have to set some sort of carrot in front of me, don't I?

Sushi and sake

This weekend is the end of the annual National Cherry Blossom Festival. A few years ago, they began holding the "Grand Sushi and Sake Tasting" during the festival. And for the first couple of years, I tried to get tickets far too late. Last year, JS, SA, and I went to, what we thought, was this event. And while we learned a lot about premium sakes, it was not what we expected.

This year, I checked the Cherry Blossom website at regular intervals to be sure that I would not miss when the tickets for this event went on sale. Well, we got tickets, and the event was this evening. And it was fantastic. The sushi chefs who were serving the masses had, this afternoon, competed in a sushi chef competition. We were served by both the first and second place chefs this evening. There were tables of sake. At least two dozen different brands and varieties. Had we more time, and no drive home, I'm sure we would have sampled more.

The final part of the evening, which JS and I agreed topped everything off, were the Japanese drumming group. Taiko is traditional Japanese Drumming - it's rhythmic, athletic, visual, emotional... I could keep going on. I've always loved Taiko and have had only a few opportunities to see it live, and never as close up as tonight. JS and I were ready to leave and decided we would stay for one song. Then another. Then another. I could have kept watching and listening. The group had two honored guests with them this evening - two very accomplished Taiko drummers, one of whom was a founding member of Soh Daiko, the only Taiko group I can remember by name. Watching these two men drumming with this amazing coordination was such a visual and auditory treat.

We had such a good time tonight. It's one thing to have the expectation that an evening will be fun. It's an entirely different thing to have that expectation met and exceeded. We're going back to this event every year from now on if we can help it. Any takers to come next year? Just let us know!!