So, I took the week off

And this is what happens when I am left to my own devices when I have literally nothing else to do...


I received this puzzle for my birthday from Jay and Ang. I opened it yesterday thinking, "Well, I'll get the border done and work on it the rest of the week." I've never finished a puzzle by myself before (okay, JS placed one piece of this one). And things were going so well... well, I got a bit OCD and NEEDED to finish it. I started at around 3pm. I finished at about 1am.

The puzzle is 1026 pieces... and it's the history of chocolate.

Well, somebody's got a case of the Mondays

Yeah... that's today. I really feel that way. I am dealing with a Lumburgh at the moment. In my office. I have a document that just keeps getting sent back for "just one more thing." I have buy-in from all the people that matter that my document should not be approved - from the management above my Lumburgh. I have the emails to prove it. But I need to document it in the review - so that the people, who already approved it, know that I already talked to them. How does that make any sense? Really?

And on top of that, the Idiot is in charge this week. This is going to be a long week...

You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

I have two favorite Christmas movies: A Charlie Brown Christmas and A Christmas Story. I look forward to seeing these movies every year. J was lovely enought to give me Charlie Brown in my stocking last year and I got the soundtrack last year as well. It's a classic story about the true meaning of Christmas.

A Christmas Story, on the other hand, is a riot. All the things about winter and the holidays that can and do suck, well, it's in there. But told from such a unique perspective. Anyways, there are some people who take being a fan too far, but in a good way. For those who really want to, you can go visit the actual Christmas Story house, both outside and now inside. What some people will do to live out a dream.

It's a "people suck" kind of day

... and I've decided that, rather than impose my obviously bad mood on people, I am hiding in my hole (in other words, locked in my office). Why is it a "people suck" kind of day? Who knows. I woke up feeling like this. But everyone is getting on my nerves, and I just can't deal.

Can I go home and take a nap now?

Big dog, Little dog

I introduced Jay and Ang's fuzzy baby not too long ago. Well, at Thanksgiving, Thor met his little cousin dog, who isn't so little anymore. Hauser is almost twice as big as Thor. He certainly is twice as tall. But anyone who has met Thor knows that Thor believes he is much bigger than he actually is, and acts that way, much to the humour of everyone else.

Well, the cousin dog meeting went as well as we could have hoped. They liked each other. They played and played. They chased. I think what was most amusing to me is that for much of the time, Thor was doing most of the chasing - pretty nimble for a dog with such short legs. And I'm always amused when the little dog chases the big dog. That shit's just funny. Equally funny was when Hauser went into stalker mode with Thor staring at Hauser coming at him with the look of "You know I can see you..."

After a while, because Thor is Thor, he got tired and didn't want to play anymore. And Hauser, because he lost his playmate to tiredness, he did what every precocious puppy does when they're big enough - he wanted our attention, particularly where there was food.

In the end, I was so happy that the puppies got along (yes, Thor is still my puppy). And hopefully the fun will continue the more times they get together.

Wireless life

I work at home once a week. The problem with working where I do is that security is tight. So until recently (read: tonight), in order to connect to work, I had to use dial-up. That's right. Now, we've had broadband for a long while, so it seems silly for me to have to use dial-up. So, let me explain.

Our apartment is completely wireless. There is the cable modem, the router and all sorts of wireless cards for various devices. There were practical reasons for this arrangement. Mostly, because of the way the apartment is laid out, running wires to the loft would be too much work and far too unsightly. So, we chose to be wireless.

The major issue with this arrangement is that my work computer, for reasons of security, was freed of its wireless card before I received it. That's right. My work computer came with a wireless card and it was removed before I received it. Only recently, within the past couple of months, has the agency allowed wireless access for home use. Once I heard that - I jumped on it and got my card re-installed. Great, simple, right?

Wrong. The encryption used by the agency is WPA, which, until recently (read: last week), was not supported by TiVo. So until all of the software was updated, etc., the choice was TiVo or work computer. Well... the TiVos won. Anyhoo, that's not a problem anymore since the software has been upgraded to support WPA encryption (well, on one of them... the other one is having issues).

So, what's the point? Well, now that everything has been set up and updated, I not only have broadband access with my work computer, but on top of that it's wireless. This makes me a very happy camper. No more waiting forever (and I do mean FOREVER) for email to load into Outlook. And I am no longer tethered to my desk.

This will make working at home even more enjoyable from now on. No more screaming at the dial-up anymore!

Odd Priorities

Election day was yesterday. Obviously this was a very important election for a number of reasons. Whether one believes it was a referendum on the current administration, on the Iraq war or whatever, it was very clear that the people in this country wanted a change. So the fact that the headlines on major news sites, like CNN.com were splashed with news of election results, surprises, upsets and possible recounts is no surprise.


I mean, it's the day after come very contentious politicking. So, when I scolled down the CNN page to read the other top headlines, I was amused when I saw this in the list:


I just love that in this country, Britney Spear's divorce is considered a top headline just below a story about a suicide bomber.

But, as you can tell... I clicked on the Britney article first. What does that say about me?

Extreme grocery shopping

Okay, so JS and I have discovered a really cool grocery shopping experience. I know what you're thinking: "Cool grocery shopping experience? What the hell is she on??" Let me explain. There is a new grocery store in our area called Bloom. The concept of this store (yes, this store was built on a concept) is to design a grocery store based on customer suggestions. So what you end with is a grocery store that is actually quite logically designed: The prepared foods are right by the front door so you don't have to go all the way to the back to get grab-and-go meal. The non-foods are relegated to the far end of the store so you get to that point last (which is good for someone like me who generally skips those isles in favor of Target). A map of the store on the grocery cart so if you forget something you're not like,"what isle was that in?" and run up and down isles looking for crap. And price scanners everywhere (because you never know when something is in the wrong place on a shelf).

Okay, I know, where's the cool part? Well, the cool part comes in the form of hand scanners. You know, like the ones they use when they stock? You scan a customer card (like a bonus card type thing), pick up a scanner, pick up a rack of bags, and you're off. Scan and bag as you go along, all the while keeping a tally of the final total. When you're done, you scan that you're done, go to a self-checkout, scan the customer card and everything you just scanned appears magically on the screen. Pay and leave. No surprise gigantic total at the end. No argument over price since you found out when you scanned. Totally awesome.


I know I'm totally geeky. But you have to understand, I'm one of those people who likes the self-checkout because it's generally faster, and I don't have to deal with a crabby checkout person. This whole, everything-is-scanned-as-I-go-along-and-all-I-have-to-do-is-pay thing is very very cool to me.

And I like using the scanner. But that's the geeky part.

I have nothing witty to say

I'm very tired. These past couple of weeks have been stressful. And I think I need a nap.

It says "For Adults Only"

But it's being sold at a toy store. Well, not a toy store, but in the toy isle of the store (a store which seems to be similar to Target or Wal-Mart) and in the toy section of their website. A pole, for pole dancing. That's the equivalent of seeing this type of thing in the toy section of the Target website or in the stores. Who was the brilliant person who thought that this was a good idea?

Trying to keep the piles from tumbling on me

The piles around me keep growing, both at home and at work. I'm not overwhelmed yet, but it's getting there. This is the busy time of year around work - companies try to get their submissions in before the end of the year and all, so we end up with a flood. In addition to my regular work, I volunteered to be in charge for this week and next. Not a big deal as a whole, and a good learning experience. I guess the one thing I didn't count on was how many meetings I would have to attend. And all the documentation for the meetings just add to the already growing piles.

It's been a stressful few weeks, ever since coming back from PR. JS has not been well, and it's taking a toll on both of us, particularly him. The most stressful part is that we don't really know what's wrong, and, because he had needed to take some heavy pain medication, it pretty much means he checks out every night. Neither of us are fond of this situation. And this is pretty much the reasons why the piles are growing at home - we did something like 8 loads of laundry last weekend.

So, moving forward, trying to keep things from getting out of hand. Trying to keep the piles from falling on me.

It's so freakin' cold I have to blog about it

Yeah, it's cold. Two-and-a-half weeks ago, MS, TC and I were sunning ourselves in PR. When I got back, it was a little cold and then it got warm again. Yesterday was a relatively warm day. Today it's cold. And not just a little cold. The HOLY SHIT IT'S FREAKIN' COLD! kind of cold. Dropped nearly 40 degrees overnight cold. That's right 40 degrees. It reached 70 degrees yesterday and the low when we woke up this morning was in the 30's.

And I am sitting in my office, where I've been freezing my butt off all day because they seem to have forgotten to turn up the heat.

Are you done yet? Are you done yet? How about now?

Okay, so a couple of weeks ago, we had 2 new hires in our division, both in my branch. I have the pleasure of being assigned to mentor our new microbiologist (MB) - you know, get her acclimated, make sure she knows how things are generally done and where to get good ice cream sundaes. You know, the important things. Our new engineer (EN) is being mentored by the idiot Patsy someone else.

As I work at home on Wednesday, I got a flurry of emails from MB asking me to check over her review, which she is frantically trying to get finished because EN keeps asking her if she's done. I was having a hard time understanding this since MB told me that she had until the end of the month to finish it - at least that's what the request sheet said. Apparently, EN's mentor told him, more or less, that it would be good if the document was finished and a letter sent out by Friday (day after tomorrow) since the document has been in house for *GASP* 15 days already.

First of all, for the type of document it is, 15 days is way early. Second, I have no idea why EN's mentor is rushing since he has shown himself incapable of keeping track of his own timelines. But most importantly, how is anyone supposed to work when there is someone in your doorway every 5 minuntes asking, "Are you done yet? How much longer? When do you think it will be done? How about now? Now? What about now?"

MB emailed and called me and asked whether this was the way things usually are. Whether this breathing down the neck was normal. She's new, obviously she doesn't know. I reassured her that it's not always like that, and the fact that her due date was moved from the end of the month to the end of this week was unacceptable. More unacceptable was the annoyance.

It became very clear that this was a sore point for me, particularly because it appeared that EN's mentor was the source of the problem. I have a major problem when there is a lack of respect of a person's workload and timelines. If the person in charge of the document screwed up a due date, it's his own damn fault. Ask to see if something can be done to expedite, then leave to allow work to get done. Really.

No. But really. The lizard DID attack me...

Well, perhaps not attack, per se. Here's the story. MS, TC and I were sitting on a beautiful beach on Palomino Island at the El Conquistador Resort in PR. Under the shade of a mini-hut, umbrella type thing. I was reading and half-falling asleep and thoroughly relaxing. Then I feel this tickly feeling on my leg. I look down expecting to shoo away a fly or something. But no. I look down and there is a 6 or 8 inch lizard on leaning on my legs with it's front feet. Let's just say that at this point I made the most ridiculous, undulating scream to the effect of: WHAA-AA-AAH! One of those comedic, sitcom-like moments. Needless to say that the lizard quickly jumped off and ran away, likely quietly screaming about the crazy, loud chick. We had a good laugh after that.

At that point, there was really no falling back asleep, as we had all been jolted awake and I was hysterical laughing. So we went to lunch, which I lost later in the afternoon - but that's a different story entirely.

The lizard below is not the offending lizard, but one we saw roaming around while eating lunch:

Why I love Callie

Don't mind her. It's just the whole doctor thing... you know, 4 years of high school, 4 years of college, 4 years of med school. By the end we're in our mid 20's and have no idea. We're all social retards... It's high school, only with scalpels. We're 17. And I'm the girl sitting in the back of the classroom eating her hair.

Jon Stewart on...

J and I spent the evening at Merriweather Post Pavilion for an evening with Jon Stewart. I love Jon Stewart. We had the opportunity to see him a couple of years ago in Baltimore (he likes coming to Baltimore for some reason) and it was the best comedy show I had ever been to. He is hilarious and smart.

Last time around, I couldn't remember how he got from talking about the war on terror to ending the show talking about his dog puking. The transitions were that smooth. It also made it very difficult to remember anything about the show except the puking dog. So this time, I made an effort to try to remember other parts of the show - because I knew if he ended with his dog puking again (and he did, and it was just as funny as the first time), that I would not remember anything else if I wasn't taking mental notes.

So, here is Jon Stewart on...

... the president:

The president isn't stupid. I believe the president thinks we are stupid. Look at the way he speaks to us - "I make decisions. I'm a decision maker." That's his formula - I A B. I am B A. "As president, I protect the people. I'm a people protector."

... getting AIDS:

Senator Bill Frist, the Senate majority leader, actually got up on the Senate floor and said that there may be a chance that you can catch AIDS from tears. From tears. The ONLY way you can catch AIDS from tears is if the tears are coming from your cock.

... being a moderate:

The problem with being a moderate is that you can't motivate us to get out and shout our agenda... That's what the people on the extremes do. Think about it, getting all the moderates our there to shout out, "Hey! Lets all be reasonable!"

... science:

There are scientists out there experimenting with cloning. They are cloning to try to make humans... to make humans.*pause* There are 6 billion humans on the planet. Fucking is working.

I believe that the world will come to an end because of scientists. Don't get me wrong, I like science. But on Long Island, there is a particle accelerator, at Brookhaven National Labs. They are accelerating and colliding particles together because they think they know how the big bang occurred... and they're trying to recreate it. Think about that for a moment. They are going to collide these particles together and they are hoping they will make anti-matter... which will gobble everything up. The very last words uttered before the end of the world will be, "Hey. It worked!"

... homosexuality:

I mean, the "radical gay agenda." The radical agenda: they want to get married, join the army, be in the Boy Scouts. I don't understand why people are so up in arms about gay marriage. I mean, I would understand if they wanted to make it manditory - someone telling me, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to marry a dude." Really, let people be who they are. The head can be swayed, the heart can be tugged, but the dick wants what it wants - it's irrefutable.

... his dog:

I realized that my dog has no short term memory... I believe this is what goes on in his head: BLEAGH (throws up)... Ugh, I feel awful... *turns to see vomit* Oh! Food!

... recovering from 9/11

There was a time when we all believed that we would not see light again... that there would not be a time when we would laugh again. But we move on. And slowly, we are able to laugh and smile again. Something happened for me about 3 weeks after 9/11. I was walking out on my apartment, and there was a homeless man there. I looked at him. And he was jerking off. And at that moment, I thought, "Things are getting back to normal."

I'm so tired I can't even smile

But I had a great time.

Things I just don't expect to hear when I'm calling a consultant at work

"Sweetie, mommy is on the phone with FDA. You're going to have to get off the computer now."

What the &%@#*&?

When we drove into Virgina Beach, I had noticed these odd signs everywhere and wondered what they were...


Walking to dinner we noted them again. No cursing? Really? Is that what it actually means? After walking a bit more, we found the list of rules:


I love that this town feels the need to set an ordinance for proper bahaviour in public. It's very amusing actually. While walking to dinner, we heard quite a few people cursing, and wondered if we were allowed to send the thought police after them...

13.1 miles = 2:34:13

Virgina Beach was a great time. After fearing that Ernesto may wash out the weekend, it all turned out to be beautiful. It was a good omen when we were in the home stretch of the drive down, crossing the bridge-tunnel thing, that the sun broke through and clouds dispursed. Beautiful.

JS and I arrived at the hotel, where Crazy, SweetPea and SP were waiting. After picking up race packets and taking a nap, we went to dinner to celebrate and carb load for the race. Dinner, carb load, stopped at an arcade to partake of skee ball, Ms. Pac Man, air hockey and shoot 'em up saloon. It's the great joy of winning tickets to turn in for absolutely useless objects (we got 1 large and 2 small superballs, by the way). Great times and fun memories of childhood. After all this fun, we turned in early as gun time was at 7am.

Let me just say that waking up at 5am sucks. No matter what the reason. When the reason is to run a whole lot... makes it much harder. But we were there with a purpose. No crapping out now. Gun time was at 7am, which meant that the elite runners took off at that point. We of the slow corral did not even make it up to the start line until nearly 25 minutes later. Which also meant we knew that, at the point where the course loops back at miles 2 and 8 over the bridge, we would be seeing the leaders heading back before we even made it over the bridge.


It's quite humbling to see that, actually. And at the same quite cool.

My knee began to bother me at mile 2.5. Really, I was hoping that my body would coorperate on race day, and in all of my training, the distance I had been running before my knee began to annoy me had increased. Now it decides to be a bother. I ran through it. It really hurt at points and I walked a lot more of the race than I had hoped. But I kept going. There was nothing that was going to keep me from finishing, even if I had to crawl.

The course passed by the hotel at which we were staying at two points - in front on Atlantic Ave. and behind on the Boardwalk. JS and SP had made signs, and I was really looking forward to seeing the cheering squad. After having lost her earlier in the race, Crazy found me and we passed the hotel at Atlantic at the same time. No cheering squad. I was sad. But we figured that we had estimated the time we would be passing by wrong, since we didn't anticipate the long delay after gun time. Maybe they thought they missed us.

Coming around on the Boardwalk, I was searching for them again. From a distance I saw the signs hung up on the hotel room balcony. I hear my name. YAY! Cheering squad. Quick sweaty kiss and I was off to the finish, which was about 1.5 miles from that point. God, I think that was the longest mile I have ever run. But coming in, seeing the finish line in the distance approaching, I got a burst of energy and crossed the finish strong.

Afterward, well, not so much. It took forever to find each other at the end and even longer to make our way back to the hotel. But after getting off the shuttle bus, we turned the corner to the hotel and saw this on our room door:


That was probably the best thing ever. Made us all laugh out loud.

The rest of the day, I was pretty much useless. After that much stress, my metabolism was all screwed up. And I had a headache that just would not go away. I felt awful about it. I pretty much fell asleep in my lamb chops at dinner.

We're home. I'm achy. I'm sunburnt. My knee feels much better after some heat therapy. I have the personal satisfaction of accomplishing something I've never done before. I have a cool medal to show for my pains.


And I ask myself, would I do it again? In a heartbeat.