The Inner Light

Okay, it's time to put my nerd hat on. Why? Because last night Turg and I remembered just how much of a nerd I/we am/are. See, SciFi channel has been showing Star Trek: TNG . Sometimes we catch it, sometimes we don't. (Mind you, we have all 7 seasons on DVD, so we could just watch whenever we want.) Last night, we sat down for dinner and TV and turned on ST:TNG.

Usually, within seeing the first few seconds of any episode, either Turg or I* or both can identify what episode it is, and whether or not we're going to like it (see, nerds, geeks, whatever you want to call us). Well, the second episode of the four being shown last night started with a scene of an "unidentified probe" on th bridge viewscreen. On sight of this, I start tearing up. Why? Because it means that it's one of my favorite (if not my all time favorite) episode of TNG: The Inner Light.

This episode makes me cry everytime I see it. Every. Single. Time. In the same places. Crying. So predictably that I got a box of tissues out to be ready for it. Even Turg knows at what points in the episode I cry, that he kept looking at me to see if I was (in turn, I kept yelling at him to stop staring at me). Big ball of crying, snotty, nerdy mess. Crying at ST:TNG.


*Incidentally, just an example of total geekdom - on one of our early and most memorable dates, Turg and I sat in Pizzaria Uno for hours playing ST:TNG trivia. Yes, this is geek dating at its best.

Twitter hates me.

Tweet... hello?

Not sure what happened to my Twitter thingie. But this morning when I looked, I wasn't following anyone and no one was following me... I feel so alone.

The interwebs hate me.

No, Seriously CawfeeGuy?

Is this really necessary?

Out of the mouths of babes...

Crazy's daughter (Trouble) cracks me up. All the time. Because Trouble's 10, but I always forget that she's 10 since, most of the time, she speaks like she's 40. So, when Turg got this unsigned message from an unfamiliar email address the other day, it's not surprising that he couldn't figure out who it was from:

"hey i have been extremely busy trying to fit everyone into my tight and already very busy schedule. talk to you later. bye-bye"

I mean, seriously - "my tight and already busy schedule"?? This girl's planning world domination. Just wait for it.

Ruminations...

Sometimes I just feel like a hack. It's a very strange thing. For all of my accomplishments, and even with all the people in my life, work or otherwise, telling me how proud they are, how highly they think of me, or whatever, I often feel like I don't deserve it or that somehow I've got everyone fooled. I mean, people come to me for my "expert" opinion about crap. That's what I'm paid to do. To give an expert analysis. Whatever.

What brought this on this time? I interviewed for another temporary promotion the other day, and was told yesterday that I had been selected for the second half of the term. I was very surprised and excited, particularly since this position is in my current division. This morning, I had a short chat with my director and she said she thought very highly of me, and even though I'm not ready yet for a permanent position(something I very clearly agree with, and said so in my interview), I will be soon, and that there will be more opportunities soon... "If you know what I mean."

Oh, god.

I'm surrounded by so many incredibly intelligent and talented people. And I'm not one who compares oneself to others, but it is intimidating sometimes. For all of my confidence and bravura, I still sometimes think that I'll be discovered for a poser - that somehow that's who I really am. Eeeeeeehhhhhh.... *breathe*

I'll be better tomorrow.... I hope.

Hey! It's Andrew!

Hey! Look at me! I'm sitting in my new highchair! I'm starting to eat solid foods now.
Let's try this stuff out...

Ma... Um, this seems really messy. Ummm, mmm.... It's not going down. I'm pretty sure that there's more on my bib than in me. Can I have a bottle now?*

*Dramatization, since, you know, Andrew's only 4.5 months old and can't talk.