Vagina vagina vagina

Okay, now that I have your attention.

This is going to be a post about the word VAGINA:
Function: noun
Inflected Form: plural va·gi·nae /-(")nE/ or va·gi·nas
a canal in a female mammal that leads from the uterus to the external orifice opening into the vestibule between the labia minora

We are going to be talking about the word vagina and not about the vagina itself. Why? I started thinking about it when I read this article about the term "va-jay-jay" of Grey's Anatomy lore (in the New York Times, no less). Long ago, in a land far away, I used to be a grad student. I was a grad student who did animal experiments on mouse vaginas. I think most of you know this. At some point, I was talking about my work at lab, and someone (a female, FYI) asked that I not use the word 'vagina' before noon. "It was too early in the morning to hear that," apparently. Too jarring for sensitive ears. This request was seconded (and thirded) by a couple of more people in the lab.

I had always thought of that reaction to be very interesting. It's a part of the female anatomy. Perfectly natural. The general population doesn't react to the word penis in the same way. Why is the name of female genitalia more jarring?

I never got my answer to that question while I was in grad school. However, me being who I am, got childish glee from watching people squirm. Rooms full of scientists, listening to my talk at meetings and symposia, wriggling in their seats everytime I said the word 'vagina.' I even had one woman come up to me after seeing my talk and ask me how I could stand up there and not be embarrassed. Again, not something I would even think of, since it was my research, and since I wasn't saying anything dirty. Vagina.

But it does bring up a salient point. Why is it that the word penis (and every euphamism for that word) is more accepted in popular vernacular, not even blinked at, while the word vagina isn't? I guess that's what the Vagina Monologues was trying to point out.

I like the word va-jay-jay. Vagina is an anatomical term which, as pointed out in the Times article, "is inadequate because it is not inclusive enough. It does not, they have pointed out, include the labia and clitoris, the nerve-rich locus of a woman’s sexual pleasure." While "Vajayjay...is like your good buddy."

It's the best buddy a woman can have.

Words of encouragement for Magenta

Dear Magenta -

You are having an emotionally and physically trying time trying to train the new man in your life. It will be okay. Training takes time.

You have a puppy who is just like you - he loves leopard print, shoes and he eats everything in sight. He followed you around at your ankles when you brought him home. He nestles in your boobs. He prefers beef to chicken. He loves you. You are his world. You are the leader of his new pack. Even after 6 years, I go through the "he doesn't love me" thing with my Thor. He is into you.

He knows all about the potty paper. He understands it most of the time. He doesn't go outside. He doesn't know that's what he's supposed to do yet. There are so many more interesting things outside for him to explore (see eating everything in sight). He will learn. It will get better.

He barks at night because he is lonely. And because he wants you to know he went potty. It is against canine instincts to sleep alone. He wants to be with you. You are his pack. So he tells you. It's what dogs do. He will eventually learn that he can sleep on his own and being quiet makes his mommy happy. You will sleep again.

Chewie is sick, has a bug in his tummy. It makes him unhappy and tired. It's making training him harder because he is not really himself. Once he is better, it will be easier. You are not a failure.

Just remember that every dog is different. Every dog has a different personality and takes different lengths of time to train. Chewie has been sick, which makes things so much harder. Lack of understanding from Chewie is not failure. Remember, he doesn't understand English yet. Keep to your plan. You are doing great. He will learn.

I am here. Just a phone call away.

Always with love,
Dr. K

I was going to post some pictures from the wedding

But MS has already done so, with much wittier commentary than I could have come up with. Don't we look hot though? Huh? Don't we? Yeah.

The wedding was beautiful. CawfeeGuy and Stephen looked so handsome. The wedding party looked great. And, oh yeah. I cried. A lot.

Conversation of the evening:
MS: Stephen, we were just noticing that everyone here is really attractive.
Stephen: Yeah, we don't hang out with the unattractive.

The great roast beef debate

Whenever I go back to NYC, as I did this past weekend, I call Dad to confirm that he wants a roast beef sandwich when I arrive. Dad loves a good roast beef sandwich, but he is very particular about how he likes to eat it. Only ever 1/2 a sandwich at a time, and always with a side of gravy for dipping.

For a long time, whenever I would call him, Dad would always respond with, "Yeah, give me a roast beef, but make sure you get it from the place by the water and not the other place." I always found this direction kind of superfluous, since I always got the sandwiches from Roll-N-Roaster, and I know he doesn't like the gravy from Brennan & Carr (which is really a jus and not gravy). But he would tell me. Every. Single. Time.

It wasn't until very recently did I figure out why it was so. Apparently, Jay would get sandwiches from Brennan & Carr for Dad. And thus, I would get reminded not to. *rolls eyes*

Well, this past weekend when I came home, Dad did not remind me to go to "the place by the water." Instead, when I called him, he said, "Don't forget a cup of gravy." Huh? Since when have I ever forgotten the gravy? In fact, I always get 2 cups of gravy (one for each half of his sandwich). When I got off the highway, I called him to see if he wanted anything else with his sandwich. He said no, but again reminded me about the gravy. What? Then, when I get home, and set up his little lunch for him, his wife comes into the kitchen and asks me (in Chinese) whether I got gravy. Okay, WTF?

Dad explained that last time, Jay forgot to get gravy. And again, I am the one who is reminded. Why am I posting all of this? What is the moral of the story? This:

JAY! WHEN YOU GET DAD A ROAST BEEF SANDWICH, GET IT FROM ROLL-N-ROASTER AND DON'T FORGET THE GRAVY!

Finally beginning to catch up

I've been super whiny recently about work. Sorry about that. I know the last thing you want to read when you're taking a break from your day is me being all whiny about work.

The good news is that I'm finally beginning to catch up. My document load is at a more than manageable level now. After several months of non-stop stress and being overwhelmed, this is a relief. I'll hopefully be able to start on all of the "side projects" that I've had lying in wait for however long. You know, all the things that one's asked to do, which don't really have a deadline so they just sit in the corner until one day someone says they need it tomorrow. That hasn't happened yet, thank goodness. But I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

On a much more fun note, I'm totally looking forward to this weekend. TJC is having a birthday tomorrow and we shall celebrate on Friday with much revelry, I'm sure. And of course, CawfeeGuy and Stephen's wedding, which is sure to be THE event of the season. I can't wait!