No. But really. The lizard DID attack me...

Well, perhaps not attack, per se. Here's the story. MS, TC and I were sitting on a beautiful beach on Palomino Island at the El Conquistador Resort in PR. Under the shade of a mini-hut, umbrella type thing. I was reading and half-falling asleep and thoroughly relaxing. Then I feel this tickly feeling on my leg. I look down expecting to shoo away a fly or something. But no. I look down and there is a 6 or 8 inch lizard on leaning on my legs with it's front feet. Let's just say that at this point I made the most ridiculous, undulating scream to the effect of: WHAA-AA-AAH! One of those comedic, sitcom-like moments. Needless to say that the lizard quickly jumped off and ran away, likely quietly screaming about the crazy, loud chick. We had a good laugh after that.

At that point, there was really no falling back asleep, as we had all been jolted awake and I was hysterical laughing. So we went to lunch, which I lost later in the afternoon - but that's a different story entirely.

The lizard below is not the offending lizard, but one we saw roaming around while eating lunch:

Why I love Callie

Don't mind her. It's just the whole doctor thing... you know, 4 years of high school, 4 years of college, 4 years of med school. By the end we're in our mid 20's and have no idea. We're all social retards... It's high school, only with scalpels. We're 17. And I'm the girl sitting in the back of the classroom eating her hair.

Jon Stewart on...

J and I spent the evening at Merriweather Post Pavilion for an evening with Jon Stewart. I love Jon Stewart. We had the opportunity to see him a couple of years ago in Baltimore (he likes coming to Baltimore for some reason) and it was the best comedy show I had ever been to. He is hilarious and smart.

Last time around, I couldn't remember how he got from talking about the war on terror to ending the show talking about his dog puking. The transitions were that smooth. It also made it very difficult to remember anything about the show except the puking dog. So this time, I made an effort to try to remember other parts of the show - because I knew if he ended with his dog puking again (and he did, and it was just as funny as the first time), that I would not remember anything else if I wasn't taking mental notes.

So, here is Jon Stewart on...

... the president:

The president isn't stupid. I believe the president thinks we are stupid. Look at the way he speaks to us - "I make decisions. I'm a decision maker." That's his formula - I A B. I am B A. "As president, I protect the people. I'm a people protector."

... getting AIDS:

Senator Bill Frist, the Senate majority leader, actually got up on the Senate floor and said that there may be a chance that you can catch AIDS from tears. From tears. The ONLY way you can catch AIDS from tears is if the tears are coming from your cock.

... being a moderate:

The problem with being a moderate is that you can't motivate us to get out and shout our agenda... That's what the people on the extremes do. Think about it, getting all the moderates our there to shout out, "Hey! Lets all be reasonable!"

... science:

There are scientists out there experimenting with cloning. They are cloning to try to make humans... to make humans.*pause* There are 6 billion humans on the planet. Fucking is working.

I believe that the world will come to an end because of scientists. Don't get me wrong, I like science. But on Long Island, there is a particle accelerator, at Brookhaven National Labs. They are accelerating and colliding particles together because they think they know how the big bang occurred... and they're trying to recreate it. Think about that for a moment. They are going to collide these particles together and they are hoping they will make anti-matter... which will gobble everything up. The very last words uttered before the end of the world will be, "Hey. It worked!"

... homosexuality:

I mean, the "radical gay agenda." The radical agenda: they want to get married, join the army, be in the Boy Scouts. I don't understand why people are so up in arms about gay marriage. I mean, I would understand if they wanted to make it manditory - someone telling me, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to marry a dude." Really, let people be who they are. The head can be swayed, the heart can be tugged, but the dick wants what it wants - it's irrefutable.

... his dog:

I realized that my dog has no short term memory... I believe this is what goes on in his head: BLEAGH (throws up)... Ugh, I feel awful... *turns to see vomit* Oh! Food!

... recovering from 9/11

There was a time when we all believed that we would not see light again... that there would not be a time when we would laugh again. But we move on. And slowly, we are able to laugh and smile again. Something happened for me about 3 weeks after 9/11. I was walking out on my apartment, and there was a homeless man there. I looked at him. And he was jerking off. And at that moment, I thought, "Things are getting back to normal."

I'm so tired I can't even smile

But I had a great time.

Things I just don't expect to hear when I'm calling a consultant at work

"Sweetie, mommy is on the phone with FDA. You're going to have to get off the computer now."

What the &%@#*&?

When we drove into Virgina Beach, I had noticed these odd signs everywhere and wondered what they were...


Walking to dinner we noted them again. No cursing? Really? Is that what it actually means? After walking a bit more, we found the list of rules:


I love that this town feels the need to set an ordinance for proper bahaviour in public. It's very amusing actually. While walking to dinner, we heard quite a few people cursing, and wondered if we were allowed to send the thought police after them...

13.1 miles = 2:34:13

Virgina Beach was a great time. After fearing that Ernesto may wash out the weekend, it all turned out to be beautiful. It was a good omen when we were in the home stretch of the drive down, crossing the bridge-tunnel thing, that the sun broke through and clouds dispursed. Beautiful.

JS and I arrived at the hotel, where Crazy, SweetPea and SP were waiting. After picking up race packets and taking a nap, we went to dinner to celebrate and carb load for the race. Dinner, carb load, stopped at an arcade to partake of skee ball, Ms. Pac Man, air hockey and shoot 'em up saloon. It's the great joy of winning tickets to turn in for absolutely useless objects (we got 1 large and 2 small superballs, by the way). Great times and fun memories of childhood. After all this fun, we turned in early as gun time was at 7am.

Let me just say that waking up at 5am sucks. No matter what the reason. When the reason is to run a whole lot... makes it much harder. But we were there with a purpose. No crapping out now. Gun time was at 7am, which meant that the elite runners took off at that point. We of the slow corral did not even make it up to the start line until nearly 25 minutes later. Which also meant we knew that, at the point where the course loops back at miles 2 and 8 over the bridge, we would be seeing the leaders heading back before we even made it over the bridge.


It's quite humbling to see that, actually. And at the same quite cool.

My knee began to bother me at mile 2.5. Really, I was hoping that my body would coorperate on race day, and in all of my training, the distance I had been running before my knee began to annoy me had increased. Now it decides to be a bother. I ran through it. It really hurt at points and I walked a lot more of the race than I had hoped. But I kept going. There was nothing that was going to keep me from finishing, even if I had to crawl.

The course passed by the hotel at which we were staying at two points - in front on Atlantic Ave. and behind on the Boardwalk. JS and SP had made signs, and I was really looking forward to seeing the cheering squad. After having lost her earlier in the race, Crazy found me and we passed the hotel at Atlantic at the same time. No cheering squad. I was sad. But we figured that we had estimated the time we would be passing by wrong, since we didn't anticipate the long delay after gun time. Maybe they thought they missed us.

Coming around on the Boardwalk, I was searching for them again. From a distance I saw the signs hung up on the hotel room balcony. I hear my name. YAY! Cheering squad. Quick sweaty kiss and I was off to the finish, which was about 1.5 miles from that point. God, I think that was the longest mile I have ever run. But coming in, seeing the finish line in the distance approaching, I got a burst of energy and crossed the finish strong.

Afterward, well, not so much. It took forever to find each other at the end and even longer to make our way back to the hotel. But after getting off the shuttle bus, we turned the corner to the hotel and saw this on our room door:


That was probably the best thing ever. Made us all laugh out loud.

The rest of the day, I was pretty much useless. After that much stress, my metabolism was all screwed up. And I had a headache that just would not go away. I felt awful about it. I pretty much fell asleep in my lamb chops at dinner.

We're home. I'm achy. I'm sunburnt. My knee feels much better after some heat therapy. I have the personal satisfaction of accomplishing something I've never done before. I have a cool medal to show for my pains.


And I ask myself, would I do it again? In a heartbeat.

The end is near...

The end of summer that is. Okay, on the calendar, summer doesn't officially end until September 22nd or something (I can never remember). But for all intents and purposes, everyone equates the end of summer with Labour Day (just like the beginning is Memorial Day). And what better way to celebrate this last weekend of summer than a whole lot of rain from what is left of Hurricane Ernesto (aside: I find it amusing that while Ernesto, a hurricane with a pretty fun name, but little punch, is churning in the Atlantic, John, common name, much bigger punch, is slamming the Pacific. But that's just me, I like hurricane watching.)

My other end of the summer activity for the weekend is the long awaited half-marathon. Yes, it is finally here. And for all of you who made fun of me this past weekend for not running in the rain - the storm will be well past Virginia Beach by gun time. So, after a year of waiting and training, the race is finally here, and I actually feel prepared. We'll see how I feel Sunday afternoon when I'm done.

Mostly I'm kind of disappointed that the summer went by so quickly. I had so many plans that didn't work out for one reason or another. JS and I were supposed to go to the museum once a month in DC - that didn't work out. Life seemed to get in the way of living for a while, which is never a good thing.

But I have so much to look forward to this fall. Next weekend is the American Chemical Society's conference in San Francisco. Yes, I know, thrilling, right? But it's San Francisco, so I'm happy - as is JS because he's coming with me. Then it's PR at the end of the month with MS and TC. I'm sure there are going to be other fun things to do before the end of the year.

There is a mistique about summer though. It's the time of fun and free time, even though we are still working everyday. The weather I prefer is autumn. But I guess I will never be out of the kid mindset that summer is the fun time and the rest of the year is filler.