When I was young and started school, Kindergarten was a wonderful thing. I remember my teacher, Ms. Heagney (Jay, help me out with the spelling here), being the most fabulous person in the world. She really was the quinticential kindergarten teacher, with the patient, soothing voice, always making people feel smart and making learning fun. Kindergarten was a place where you learned for a little and played for a little, where creativity was encouraged and learning was supposed to be fun. We learned to read and write and count. We learned to share, to resolve arguments, to make friends and develop social skills. We played dress-up. We painted (I always looked forward to my day at the paints). We pretended. We used our imaginations.
Why am I talking about this? Because reading this article disturbed me. When did we get to the point that children need to do math drills at 5 years old? Why would we want to? Now, I don't have kids yet, and I understand that this is a competitive world. But why start this type of thing at 4 or 5 years old? This is the time in children's lives when they are the most fertile in their imaginations, in their sense of fun and play.
More and more, while I'm out, I see children who have absolutely no sense of proper behaviour in public. They don't know how to act around strangers. They don't know how to use their "inside" voice. They throw tantrums. And maybe I'm stretching, but I think part of this has to do with the fact that so much of everything else is structured, they don't know what to do at unstructured times. That's the type of thing that kindergarten is supposed to teach. Fair play, that you don't always get what you want, that you sometimes need to be patient for your turn, that you can occupy your free (play) time with wonderful things going on in your head instead of making a ruckus, that when free time is over, you need to be quiet. If this time is taken up with sitting and doing math drills and reading comprehension worksheets, what's left?
There is so much placed on fulfilling the numbers and quotas that we end up raising little robots. Robots who are ready to explode at any moment. Children should not be bored in school at such a young age. If they get that sense at 5, there is no hope for the future.
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7 comments:
i don't know, t. i distinctly remember doing reading and spelling in kindergarten; i dont' remember math though. maybe if i had learned it early i'd understand it now.
Oh, I'm not saying there wasn't that. And I did do math, I do remember (the whole learning to read, write and count, thing). But it seems like from this article, that there is less of the unstructured play time than I remember having. No development of social skills. No learning that there is a time for play and when that time is over, we need to pay attention. If it's work all the time, then kids don't get a sense of when and where things are appropriate. Kids not learning to think, but just to do.
I don't think that it is the lack of skills that were once learned in kindergargen, but the changes in parenting that affects how children behave in public.
Modern parents, especially those in our demographic (ie:college degree, white collar job, urban/sub-urban), are more permissive/less discipline oriented than parents even 20 years ago. Also, dads have gotten more involved.
Consequently, childrens' average bedtimes are later (so they can spend time with dad), they are potty trained at a later age (who has time to potty train with 2 parents working), and they are taken with the parents to places like restaurants that once were not considered at all appropriate for kids, because people are eating out as a family and eating out in record numbers.
So, it goes to reason that we will see more examples of kids misbehaving in restaurants, cafes...
T
PS - I'll be very depressed if I have kids who behave like little adults rather than occasionally making a ruckus (gasp!) in public.
Well, I think that both comments (Tina's comment and the one made by the person right before me on this blogger) are right. Schools are indeed placing too much emphasis on standardized testing. (I did my masters thesis on this very topic). Kids today are also being raised differently. Young adults today, in general, don't nearly have the work ethic that those older than us do. You can see the difference between those who have parents currently in their 50's versus those who currently have parents in their 70's or 80's. I hope it doesn't get worse, but it's not looking that way.
Jay
I never said that children should act like little adults. I just believe that kids should act like kids but to also understand who is in charge, which I think has gotten lost, partially because parents don't have enough time to spend so they are afraid to be the "bad guy," and then discipline goes out the door. I don't disagree that parenting is very different than when we were kids. It just seems to be getting worse.
Everything needs a balance. And I think right now, things seem to be swinging to the extremes. Again, I'm no parent. But what I observe nowadays is scary - parents giving in because kids whine enough. Kids getting drilled for tests but not learning how to think or use their imaginations. I think it all contributes in one way or another.
An occassional ruckus is expected. Kids are kids. But when it's the norm, and I do hear some of my friends talking about being unable to "control" their kids, it's gone too far.
To clarify: tantrum throwing and an out of control child is not good, but the other extreme of "children should be seen and not heard" is also bad.
I think my major disagreement with your post is on the standard of normal childhood behavior - and I will admit that I am more permissive in this deparment. I think it is absolutley unrealistic to expect a 4 year old to sit quietly and be occupied with things going on in their head at a time when the world around them is so very new and exciting. Their linguistic pathways are forming, their balance and motor skills are developing, their curiosity is at a peak, and they are learing how to express themselves - all things that foster imagination. Nor do I think that it constitutes bad behavior, even in a public place, and as a society I am glad that we are more permissive of it now than in the past.
However, I fully agree that screaming, crying, kicking and other tantrum behaviors should be curbed. We are very quick to point fingers at schools. But I think that removes responsibility for raising children from the parents, where IMHO it clearly belongs. My neice is a brat because her parents never say "no" to her whining and tantrums, not because her kindergarden had too much structure or academics. Yet, brat though she may be, I don't look at her and think "there is no hope for the future." Every affluent society has claimed that the kids were going to hell in a handbag and taking society down with them (the Athenians blamed Socrates, the Romans blamed Cicero, in the 50's Americans blamed Elvis Presley and rock 'n' roll...). But we somehow seemed to arrive here in one piece. So, I am counting myself among the optimists about the future.
T (Jay, the "T" is for "Tricia")
I guess we will agree to disagree on this area. I believe parents are too permissive. I think it's good that they are more permissive than before, but I look around and I feel like it's gone too far. And I think that, yes, ultimately the responsibility of the child rests on the parent, but also that since children spend the majority of their days in school, there is a major contribution there too.
Society is moving forward at a faster pace and we are all struggling to keep up. But starting with the testing and drilling at such a young age is not the answer - just a response to the pitiful excuse of education policy called "no child left behind." My point was that we (as a society) should not take away yet another place where a child can be a child yet also learn their way to becoming an adult. I am just discussing it as one aspect, not as the only aspect - if it seemed that way, well, that's poor writing on my part.
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