Wedding dress follies

Before anyone goes nuts - no I am not engaged. However, Crazy and SweetPea are. So Nancy and I went dress shopping with Crazy today. She's very low maintenance, so it's really come to no surprise that she's found her dress and ordered it. What's funny is how the decision on the dress came to be.

After trying on 2 dresses (the second of which we thought would be the one), she came out in a beautiful, sparkly number, which Crazy admittedly said looked much better out than in the dressing room. Anyway, we were trying to decide between the sparkly one and the second dress. Well, in the store was another bride with her family. The grandpa asked if we wanted a male opinion. We said yes. He very bluntly said that when she came out in the sparkly dress, "That turned me on!" At which point we all start laughing. He went on to describe why he liked it: it's about the placement of said sparkles - not too much througout the dress, but enough in the right places. He then leans over to Nancy and me and says, "In the end all men are titty men."

No shit.

Exercise in futility

Okay, so last year, I decided that, you know, in order to torture myself, I would start running. Not only just running, but running a half-marathon. And, in the end, I was really happy I did it. It was a lot of fun, despite the chronic knee pain incurred.

I always said that I would not live my life avoiding the things I hate or fear. So, today began the new quest (not that I've given up running - I need to work up to it again because of my knee). Swimming, which is supposed to be better for the knee. And it is apparently worse for everything else...

Let me explain. I am a BAD swimmer. It's very simple. I did not grow up with ready access to a pool. I probably didn't even really learn how to swim until I was about 10. I never learned how to breathe properly, blow bubbles, anything. People keep telling me that blowing bubbles is simple. Not so much for me. Anytime I've tried, my immediate inclination is to breathe in, and then there's me flailing and coughing up water. So, for me "swimming" is pretty much bobbing around in the water under the hot sunshine of summer, immediately followed by sunning poolside.

Today, Crazy and Sweetpea invited me to go to the community pool with them and the kids. Should be fun. Crazy and Sweetpea have decided that they are going to do a sprint distance triathalon (not me, thank you very much), so they are swim training. While I'm not doing the triathalon, I do want to at least try to become a better swimmer.

Today, it was all about trying not to sink. My head bobbing atop the surface of the water while, beneath, my legs slowly finding their way to the pool bottom (the lap pool is only 3-5 feet deep). By lap number 3, halfway across the pool, my feet will have found the pool bottom and I need to stand up and kick off again. I made it back and forth across the pool 10 times (I won't actually call them laps since that would be an insult to actual swimmers). By the end of 20 minutes, I wanted to die - my head felt like it was about to explode and my legs felt like they were 300 pounds. Now my shoulder and arms are beginning to ache. I know that I'm going to be paying for this tomorrow morning. And, again, as with the running, I want to go back for more pain.

There seriously must me something wrong with me.

I'm so freakin' tired

Okay. So I couldn't drag my ass out of bed until almost 8:30 this morning. And I'm about ready to fall asleep at my desk, and it's not even 11 o'clock (forget the fact that I got in at 9:45). This sucks. I see an unproductive day ahead of me.

Things one should never overhear while eating lunch

"No, I didn't drink yellow coffee... oh, wait. There was that time I drank my own urine..."

Get (red)

So, I wanted a new cell phone since my old one was dying and I wanted a new toy. I was debating with JS over what phone I should buy... particularly because I really don't use all the web stuff and all. But, in the end, JS bought me a phone I really love - for more reasons than just because it's new and shiny (which is usually reason enough).


I got the Motorola (red) Razr. I'd never been a huge fan of Motorola products. This one, however, is attached to a good cause. Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard about the (red) project. It's the project started by Bono and Bobby Shriver in support of The Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. Part of the proceeds of every (red) product sale goes to The Global Fund.

The fact that it's a (red) product made me more apt to buy it. I think that's going to be the case in the near future for a lot of things. I'm probably going to get the (red) Bluetooth headset to use with this phone. The whole point of the (red) project is to allow people to help contribute to The Global Fund through buying products they already use. Well, it's definitely worked on me.

... and not so fresh

Well... I spent the majority of yesterday at home in the fetal position. Why? Because I spent the previous night praying to the porcelain god. Was I drunk? Was I hung-over? God I wish I was. Unfortunately, neither was the case. I had a bug in my tummy. One that came roaring in at about 2am the night before and finally ceased at about 10am. I never realized that my body could be in so much pain all at once.

At the very least, I can be thankful that nothing began until after the drive back from MS's place, or JS would not have been a happy camper in the car (nor I, as a matter of fact). I'm much better today, but not 100%. I'm feeling rather... empty. I know. TMI.

Starting the New Year fresh

There are certain times when a conversation is so funny, that there is no other way to describe it except to just give a transcript. So, here is the "Happy New Year" conversation I had with my Dad at approximately 12:02am on New Year's Day:

N'il: Happy New Year!
Dad: Happy New Year, how are you?
N: Good. Were you asleep?
D: No, I was watching TV.
N: Good. How are you feeling?
D: Not bad. Not bad.
N: Well, that's good.
D: I just moved my bowels.
N: Really?! Well, that's good. You're starting the New Year off fresh.
D: Yeah, I moved them 4 times today. I did just before you called.
N: Well, that's really great Dad. As I said, you're starting the year fresh.
D: Yes, well...
N: I'll give you a call later this week, okay?
D: Okay. Have a good night.
N: Good night, Dad.

I guess when you're nearly 81, there are some things which are just much more exciting than watching the ball drop.