On etiquette

I read this article in the New York Times this morning and found it rather interesting. In summary, there is apparently a growing trend of restaurant and cafe owners laying down behaviour rules for children in their establishments, i.e. please use your inside voice, no running, etc. and a horrified response from parents insulted that owners of public establishments would dare do such a thing. Children are children, afterall, and you cannot control it if they are just acting their age. What bullshit.

I want to begin by saying again that I love children and want to have several in the future. However, I will also say that I have had many a relaxing afternoon at my favourite cafe ruined by screaming children and their parents too obivious to do anything about them. The attitude that "children are just being children" is a load of crap. If a child cannot behave in public, then it is on the parents to make the choice to subject the public to that behaviour or not. Additionally, the establishments we are speaking of - restaurants, cafes, bookstores, etc. - although available to the public are still privately owned establishments where the owners can make rules as they please (discriminatory rules, excepted, of course). If a restaurant manager can remove an adult for unruly behaviour, why not a child? The difference is that an adult is responsible for him/herself, while the parent is responsible for the child... and therein lies the rub.

My family went out a lot when I was a child. I was in a restaurant, store, diner, etc. almost weekly. I was never allowed to act up in public. NEVER. My parents never spanked me or punished me or threatened me. There was just an expectation that one behaves a certain way in public. My sister instilled that sense in my nephews as well - they have never acted up while we were out as far as I can remember. And trust me, these are two very energetic boys.

In the same way that an establishment can say that cell phone use is not allowed, I find no problem in an establishment saying that children are not allowed in or, if they are, that a standard of behaviour should be adhered to. It's just simple ediquette.