30

I've never really made a big deal about my birthday. There is a reason for this. My birthday always falls during the week of Thanksgiving, so more often than not, everyone I know with whom I would like to spend my birthday usually has plans with their own families either in or out of town. People were always busy, so I generally didn't expect all that many people to remember. Additionally, my family has always celebrated my birthday on Thanksgiving Day since the family would be all be there anyway. So, for a very long time, I didn't even know what date my birthday was... I thought my birthday was on Thanksgiving.

This year was different, however. I turned -- dum-dum-DUM!!! -- 30. And it's significant for many reasons. It's the first birthday since I was 4 that I'm not in school. I'm beginning the next stage of my life - started a new job 8 months ago, moved to a new city, feeling like a real adult for the first time in my life. I've also begun to truly appreciate all the friends I have. As we get older, as we live our own lives and are apart, the times we are together are all the more special.

So much has changed in the past year - my dear brother getting married, friends having babies, other friends moving across the country... I've made a few new friends (no easy feat for me) with whom I hope to have long lasting relationships. I've been surprised, I've been disappointed, I've been hurt and uplifted. People I love have become more deeply engrained in my heart.

I feel grateful and truly lucky for the life I've had thus far, for good and for bad, because of all the wonderful people I have been able to share it with.

A Compleat Coincidence

So, long ago in a galaxy far away, when I was still in college, I was in a play. That play was "The Compleat Works of Wllm Shakespr (abridged)." Efrex had taken me to see this show off Broadway and we loved it so much, we recruited our friend Ron to play the third role. And our performance was a hit... everyone that I talked to loved it, and we got a really good review in the school paper the next week.

Since that time, every time I see that there will be a performance of this play, my curiosity always gets to me, and I find a way to go... I saw a really good performance several years back off broadway. I saw a really terrible version at Johns Hopkins a couple of years ago - they were a bunch of chickens; apparently, they thought having a guy in a wig and a skirt during the show was too risque.

Anyway, I saw in the paper on Friday that there would be a performance of Compleat Works at the Gaithersburg Arts Barn down the road. Again, my curiosity got to me and so we went. LS, SP, JS and I, off to the play. JS hit me during the first couple of minutes of the show, as I was mouthing dialog (I couldn't help it!!). The first act went by smoothly, without incident, and I felt it was pretty good... and certainly some parts updated from when we did it way back in 1996.

The entire second act of the play is a performance, so to speak, of Hamlet. During the "Get thee to a nunnery!" scene, there is an audience participation interlude. A female member of the audience is chosen to play Ophelia... all this person has to do is scream (twice). During the time leading up to this part of the play, I was sitting there thinking to myself, "Wouldn't it be funny if they pulled me?" Well, I think we all know where this is going... Yes, they actually pulled me! JS was laughing as they were approaching our row. Oh, boy, this would be fun.

I think I actually shocked them with my first scream. A whole audience participation section is set up as a build up to the second, supposedly, better scream. While the setup for the rest of the audience is taking place, one of the actors comes by to basically reassure me about what was going on...

Gary: Just 5 more minutes and you'll have to scream again.
Me: I know, I did this play.
Gary: What?!?
Me: Yeah, and I played your part...
Gary: ... so, how are we doing?

While standing on the stage, it took all that I had not to start mouthing the dialog or do the little pantomimes that went with the dialog. It was also really funny to have the actors trying to reassure me while I was standing up there. Well, after the show, while walking out, another of the actors (the part that Efrex played) was sitting in a chair. As I pass, he looks at me and says, in this shocked voice, "YOU DID THIS PLAY!?!?!" Apparently, while the three actors were backstage recounting funny experiences in during the show, Gary told the other two about our exchange while I was on stage. Gary and the last guy, Kevin both came out, recounted again the conversation we had, laughed and shook my hand before I left.

Sometimes it's the small coincidences that make things memorable. What are the chances that they would have picked me, someone who actually performed in the play, to be their screaming Ophelia? What could have been just a fun afternoon became an ultimately memorable one.

S/he's a maniac

One of the advantages of working for the government is getting holidays that most people don't normally get. And thus, I had this past Friday, Veteran's Day, off. So, having a nice long weekend, and a generally flexible schedule, I made plans to visit SequinedAsphault in Connecticut. BC planned to visit his mom in CT this same weekend... so carpooling it is. Since we were leaving from Hagerstown, the route would be different than the "just follow I95" route that I normally take. A prettier drive through PA, fall foliage in full force, and no NJ Turnpike, which was just fine with me.

You can tell a lot about a person's personality by how that person drives... it's very interesting, especially on longer road trips. BC is a generally laid back person. Really doesn't rush around, diligent when working, but generally doesn't stress too much. This is not the case while driving. While he's not stressed while he's driving, BC can be... well... intense. So intense, in fact, that we missed the exit for I287 on the way up AND on the way back. BC obviously takes his driving seriously. Now, most of us drive around 80mph when we're on open road - I do this all the time. Driving 80mph on slightly congested but not traffic-y road... a little scary. It's very interesting to watch other driver's reactions to this kind of driving.

Now, I do not abide drivers who drive slower in the left lane than the right. That's just stupid. BC really doesn't like this behavior, and makes sure that slow driver knows it. It's amazing how long you can follow behind a slow driver, obviously wanting to go faster than they are, and that driver will not change lanes, either because of obliviousness or stupidity. On a stretch of I81 in PA (which is only 2 lanes), where there was really no one on the road, there was a car in the left lane basically driving the same speed as the one next to it in the right. This is just annoying and stupid. The woman finally gets the hint that she's going way too slow and changes lanes. When we pass her, the face of either absolute confusion and/or disgust that was thrown our way... well, it was one of those faces that would have scared adults and small children alike - and it made us laugh hysterically.

On the way back to Maryland, there was less of the idiot slow drivers (although there were still plenty) and more of the competitive drivers. Drivers who obviously could not stand being passed in their expensive cars by a Chevy Cavalier. The driver of a bright blue Corvette, after being passed, decided that he needed to prove how ballsy his car was and sped up significantly, caught up and tried to pass... only to be foiled by the toll plaza. I guess he thought better of it after that. Even more obnoxious was the BMW driver, who decided, after passing us, to hit his brakes and basically box us in - he in front, semi next to us. The situation remained this way for MILES. Why this person felt the need to do this, we couldn't figure out. But after about 5 or 10 minutes of being stuck behind this guy, BC couldn't take it anymore and used an exit ramp to get around him and the semi... and dusted him in the process.

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The rest of the weekend in CT, while not as adventurous, was A LOT of fun. A trip to IKEA in New Haven with SA and LH. SA did a bit of Christmas shopping for her little cousins, determined to be the cool cousin this year, as her presents last year apparently didn't go over too well. There was a blue tunnel bought - I'll get back to this later...

SA and I stopped in Milford to see the movie, Shopgirl (note: for those who read the novella, as both SA and I did, the movie is a bit disappointing). We weren't originally planning to stop in Milford for the movie, but while driving by, we saw that a movie theatre just off the highway was playing it. Why drive all the way back to Stamford, where the parking is horrendous by the movie theatre, when we could just stop here? Finding the movie theatre, however, was an amusing game of "which direction should we go in now?" My theory was to just drive parallel to the highway until we found it... unfortunately we got too far away from the highway to even see it anymore. Eventually, after driving for a while, nearly ready to give up, we see a sign for I95 and decide we should just go to Stamford. As we were ready to get on the highway, I point to the movie theatre, which is literally across the street from this onramp, and scream, "THERE IT IS!" at which point SA quickly crossed 3 lanes of traffic and pulled into the parking lot.

SA:What just happened?
N'il:We found the movie theatre...
SA:Oh... okay...

After the movie, SA and I headed to South Norwalk for some really good sushi, sake and conversation at Kazu. Then a stop at Barcelona for a quick drink, then home to rest for company the next day.

SA invited DL and SL to visit Saturday night. I was really happy about this since I had not seen them in a really long time - too long, in my opinion. Crawdiddy was coming into town too, so along with the roommates, this looked like it would be a fun evening. The funny thing about SA is that, even though she likes to have people over and entertain, she completely stresses out for the days leading up to the event. "This is what I'm planning to cook... does it sound okay?" "Should I vacuum now?" "Should we just meet them in the city instead?" Whenever she gets like this, I always remind her that people are coming to see her, not the house, not the food... we could drink, watch movies and order pizza and people would still love it.

Preparing for the guests proved to be more amusing than we had expected. SA made asopao with tostones and fried sweet plantains. And it was all delicious... we bought a ready-made salad, just to pretend there was a vegetable - it never made it out of the fridge. SA had put me in charge of the appetizers. Earlier in the day we went to Trader Joe's to pick up mini quiches, spanakopita, some hummus and olive tampenade. Easy - put out the cold munchies and warm the others up in the oven. Yeah, not so easy. SA warned me before I put anything in that the oven tended to run a little hot, so I should probably set it about 20 degrees cooler and just check the thermometer in the oven. I open the oven after pre-heating to discover that it was actually about 20 degrees lower than the set temperature. SA figured she just got it backward, so we set the temperature higher, and stuck the appetizers in to get them started. When I went back to check on them... well, the temperature dropped even more! WHAT THE HELL?!?! It took about an hour to heat up the mini quiches and the spanakopita... well, let's just say that one of the jokes for the rest of the night was, "So, you think the spanakopita's ready yet?" We never did eat it.

After dinner, it somehow turned into "Awesome 80's Dance Party." There was some discussion about song lyrics - how, when listening to songs now, there are songs that mean something completely different than what we thought as kids. We were talking about the song "We don't have to take our clothes off" when LH says, "I have that song on my iPod... let me go get it." After that, it was 80's music, dancing, feather boa's, and lots and lots of silliness. It was a really good time. One of the highlights was watching LH re-enact "Flashdance" to the song "Maniac." It was really impressive - I think I would have passed out after about 10 seconds.



We played some Texas Hold-em. I was the first one eliminated... DL, who was the one who didn't know how to play, won, of course. At some point I left the room to make a phone call... I will forever regret what I missed during this time. Apparently, while I was gone, SA decided that she had to show everyone the really cool gifts she got for her cousins in IKEA. All I know is that, when I came back into the living room, the tunnel was open. SA apparently tried to crawl through it... and got stuck. Not from being too big for it, but from laughing so much that she couldn't continue. I hope someone got pictures.

The rest of the night wound down quickly. People were tired and drunk and DL and SL needed to get home. In all, the house was quiet by midnight. Yeah, we're all getting old. (SA woke up at about 2am with a second wind, only to discover that no one was awake).

Ahhh, good times... think the spanakopita's ready yet?

On etiquette

I read this article in the New York Times this morning and found it rather interesting. In summary, there is apparently a growing trend of restaurant and cafe owners laying down behaviour rules for children in their establishments, i.e. please use your inside voice, no running, etc. and a horrified response from parents insulted that owners of public establishments would dare do such a thing. Children are children, afterall, and you cannot control it if they are just acting their age. What bullshit.

I want to begin by saying again that I love children and want to have several in the future. However, I will also say that I have had many a relaxing afternoon at my favourite cafe ruined by screaming children and their parents too obivious to do anything about them. The attitude that "children are just being children" is a load of crap. If a child cannot behave in public, then it is on the parents to make the choice to subject the public to that behaviour or not. Additionally, the establishments we are speaking of - restaurants, cafes, bookstores, etc. - although available to the public are still privately owned establishments where the owners can make rules as they please (discriminatory rules, excepted, of course). If a restaurant manager can remove an adult for unruly behaviour, why not a child? The difference is that an adult is responsible for him/herself, while the parent is responsible for the child... and therein lies the rub.

My family went out a lot when I was a child. I was in a restaurant, store, diner, etc. almost weekly. I was never allowed to act up in public. NEVER. My parents never spanked me or punished me or threatened me. There was just an expectation that one behaves a certain way in public. My sister instilled that sense in my nephews as well - they have never acted up while we were out as far as I can remember. And trust me, these are two very energetic boys.

In the same way that an establishment can say that cell phone use is not allowed, I find no problem in an establishment saying that children are not allowed in or, if they are, that a standard of behaviour should be adhered to. It's just simple ediquette.