Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The thing about mental health days, Pt. 2

One of the bad things about taking days off is that you lose track of what day of the week it is. For example, because this is my first day in the office this week, my brain naturally though it was Monday. Unfortunately, that meant that my late lunch ran into a meeting I had scheduled for 2pm, which I also naturally forgot about - since in my head it was Monday, and not Tuesday. Oops.

Monday, September 24, 2007

The thing about mental health days

For me, mental health days are rarely "days off," per se. Why? Because, the reason why I take mental health days is not to relax. It's to deal with the crap build-up at home, which is part and parcel with my mental instability.

So far today: I've filed away about 4 months worth of household and personal bills, insurance information, and all sorts of other mailing that one is really supposed to keep in some sort of organized system; cleaned my bathroom; cleaned my office; done laundry; vacuumed; and rearranged my underwear drawer (I know, you really didn't need to know that. But for completeness sakes, we'll go there, okay?). Again, hardly a "day off." More like a day of work at home.

I've been going since about 8:30 or 9:00 this morning. I haven't even eaten lunch yet. Let's see what else I can accomplish today.


Update: 3:15pm - baking brownies

Friday, September 21, 2007

Certainly not a surprise

Although brilliant may be a bit of an exaggeration...

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive.
You understand people better than they would like to be understood.
Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details.
You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on!

Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done

Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

I still have a job

Whew. Now I don't have to start putting together my resume. By the time this thing is up for renewal again in 5 years, I will likely be a permanent hire and not have to worry like this again.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Living in the unknown

I guess one of the bad things about working where I do is the bureaucratic crap that comes along with it. It's been in the background for months now. But back then, I thought that the deadline was ages away, and there would be no way this would be a possibility.

This possibility has nothing to do with my performance over the past 2 1/2 years. Nothing to do with the quality of the work I do. Nothing to do with the time I've spent. And yet. Here I am. With the deadline rapidly approaching, knowing that if it comes down to it, I would be one of the people on the chopping block.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Define me


LadyNil --

[noun]:

A lewd street performer



'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com


Hrm... Not so sure about this one. Lewd? Thanks, CawfeeGuy.

Bumper sticker of the day

"The rapture is not an exit strategy."

Shit like that just makes me giggle.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Slowly creeping my way forward

God, I'm tired. And today it's miserable outside. All rainy and dark and humid. Blegh. I so did not want to get out of bed today when I saw that out the window this morning.

It's a strange thing, this tiredness. Obviously, it relates to work. More specifically, my not wanting to be here recently. It's not that I don't like my job. I love my job. I've just been so busy recently that I'm overwhelmed... you know, the so-incredibly-busy-and-have-so-much-to-do-that-you-don't-even-know-where-to-begin-so-you-feel-like-you-can't-do-anything, kind of deal. And on top of that, there's the neck pain that just keeps coming back - sitting in front of a computer all day has really been doing a job on my neck.

So I'm tired. I'm achy. And on top of that, I'm being all whiny about it.

Blegh.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Cleaning surfaces

I had one of those "cleaning surfaces" moment the other day. And it's pretty much been continuous since then... I'm in a "cleaning surfaces" kind of mood. What does this mean? This is a label MS gave to a certain type of behaviour. It's the point where you can't take the clutter anymore and start cleaning. For me, I usually just snap. Justlikethat. And start moving shit around and throwing shit out. JS was looking at me the other evening, at 9pm when I just started cleaning the apartment, like I was a total nutcase.

And it continued through the weekend. Yesterday, the surface of choice happened to be the car. I didn't take it to the carwash. I HAD to do it myself. It's a state of mind, I think. A physical manifestation of trying to clear out my head. Or maybe the apartment is just a mess. Who the hell knows.

I didn't get as much cleaned in the apartment as I would have liked... I feel like I'm drowning in clutter. At least the furniture is back where it's supposed to be - sorta.

Star light, star bright... times 2


If you haven't seen this movie yet, you should. It's based on the book by Neil Gaiman, one of the greatest comic book writers of all time. According to JS, the movie is a bit more loosely based on the book than I had originally thought. When the book originally came out as a 4 part graphic novel, I had only read part 1; and while not exactly the same, it's not wildly dissimilar. Apparently, more liberties were taken after the point I had stopped.

Regardless, the movie is great. Michelle Pfeiffer is totally hot as the witch queen. It's funny. It's charming. It's surprising. And I was so excited to see it again last night after seeing it with MS last weekend. This is definitely going to be a DVD purchase when it comes out, if only to hear Robert DeNiro's commentary (and hopefully there is one) about his role as the "fearsome" Captain Shakespeare.